The Lord of Time
by winged sword
Summary: On the Battle of the Bridge, Naruto gains a power that will change the world, will he use it for good, or for evil
1. Chapter 1

An: Boredom is annoying

The one moment, the one moment that altered his life, and made it impossible for him to live normally.

"STOP" Naruto yelled watching Haku throw himself in front of the Chidori.

Naruto watched not blinking as time seemed to halt he saw Haku protect Zubzuba with his life.

But when it came down to it, nothing happened, the attack stopped moving, and Naruto realized time had frozen at the one instant.

Not even wasting time to consider anything he ran to Haku, he ran faster than he ever had before, he shoved the boy out of the way of the attack just as time restarted itself around him.

"CHIDORI" Kakashi yelled, only to widen his eye's in horror, instead of Zubzuba, he hit his student, no, he tore straight threw the boy like he wasn't even there.

"No, oh god no, NO" Kakashi yelled watching the body of his student fall to the ground, alive if the blood pumping out of him was an indicator.

"It all stopped, all of it, like I had frozen time" Naruto muttered out inaudible.

"NO YOU FUCKING BRAT, IF YOU DIE ON ME RIGHT NOW, I'LL TEAR YOUR SOUL APART" An enraged voice yelled in his head as blood red chakra came off his body, sealing the gash on his body almost instantly. "Noe then, you better thank for that, fucking brat."

"Did, did the seal brake" Kakashi said watching the chakra roll of his body like a waterfall. "Oh great, Now I'm Kakashi, the Demon Freer."

"Haku were done here" Zubzuba said throwing the dogs off him hard enough to pop them. "Get my sword would you."

"Yes master" Haku said grabbing the giant blade and leaving with Zubzuba.

"Kakashi-sensei, did I save him?" Naruto asked looking at Kakashi with crimson eyes.

"Yeah, he's fine" Kakashi said sighing in relief on the inside, the seal hadn't broken after all.

"Good, good" Naruto said closing his eyes as the red chakra left his body. "I saved him."


	2. Chapter 2

An: I fixed it

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Naruto opened his eyes and saw the ceiling of his room at Tazuna's house.

"So your awake then" Kakashi said flipping the page in his book. "You gave me quite the scare Naruto."

"What, what happened" Naruto said trying to remember.

"After you passed out from blood loss, Gato attacked the bridge with an army, strangely enough a giant water dragon killed half the army and the man himself out of nowhere" Kakashi said. "Then the villagers came and scared off the rest of the army."

"Oh" Naruto said looking out the window.

"So was it worth it" Kakashi said.

"What?" Naruto asked looking at the man.

"Was it worth throwing yourself in front of an A-ranked assassination attack, to save the one kid?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes" Naruto said without hesitation.

"Was he that important to you?" Kakashi asked.

"He was my friend" Naruto said laying back down.

"Strictly platonic?" Kakashi asked.

"WHAT" Naruto yelled sitting back up.

"I mean hey it's fine and all if you and him were, 'freinds' but can you keep it between you two" Kakashi said smirking under his mask.

"IT WASN'T LIKE THAT" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah totally, you just throw yourself in front of one of the most dangerous attack you've seen to date for a friend, I'm not judging you Naruto" Kakashi said flipping the page in his book again.

"I'M NOT GAY" Naruto yelled, his voice cracking slightly.

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say, like I said, I'm not judging you or anything" Kakashi said.

"I hate you" Naruto said rolling onto his side to avoid Kakashi's gaze.

"I'll just leave your gift on the table then" Kakashi said putting a book down that looked like his infamous book.

"Jack ass" Naruto said going back to sleep.

In his mindscape

"Go the hell away kid" A giant fox said from behind just as large bars.

"Jerk ass fox" Naruto said walking out of the fox cage and looking at the sewer scape of his mind. "Why is this place a sewer anyways."

"Because your a sewer" The Fox said.

"First Kakashi and now you, fucking pricks" Naruto said.

"Yes I'm sure you miss your precious little Haku-kun" The Fox said chuckling.

"SHUT THE HELL UP" Naruto said turning to glare at the fox. "I'm leaving."

...

"You don't know how to leave do you?"

"...no"

"AHAHAHAHAHA" The Fox yelled falling over on its side.

"Fuck you too."

"Anyways, the reason I brought you here" The Fox said after it finished laughing.

"Yes?"

"You've seemed to have gained one of my, stranger powers" The Fox said.

"You mean, I did stop time on the bridge" Naruto said.

"Yes, you see this seal gives you my power, including my less used time stopping one" The Fox said.

"So, will I get any others?" Naruto asked.

"No clue" The Fox said. "So that's all I planned on saying, go do whatever it is you do."

"How do I leave?" Naruto asked.

"Just open your eyes."

In the real world

"So, now that your awake, we should talk" Kakashi said sitting in the chair again.

"Okay."

"Now, I would like to say I'm sorry for offending you early, it doesn't matter if your gay, you're still my student" Kakashi said giving Naruto a very serious look.

"I hate you, I hope you know that, I am not sorry if I some how offended you" Naruto said.

"Now, to the real reason of this talk, on the bridge, you were nowhere near me, so, how'd you get there in the blink of an eye?" Kakashi asked.

"I think I managed to stop time" Naruto said.

"Right" Kakashi said.

"No, I'm serious" Naruto said.

"Sure you are, sure you are" Kakashi said. "And maybe you aren't delirious from blood loss."

"I'll prove it" Naruto said.

"..."

"How exactly will you prove it?"

'Stop' Naruto thought trying to replicate what happened on the bridge, only for nothing to happen.

"Naruto" Kakashi said waving his hand in front of the zoned out boy's eyes.

'STOP' Naruto tried again.

"Great, I turned him into a vegetable, there goes my rank" Kakashi said.

"STOP" Naruto yelled making Kakashi jump.

"WHAT" Kakashi yelled grabbing a kunai.

"Why isn't it working" Naruto said to himself.

"Because you, dumb as you are, didn't realize that on the bridge you were terrified for your friend's life" A voice in his head said.

'Kyuubi?' Naruto thought.

"No, the Dali lama" Kyuubi said.

'Who?'

"Never mind" Kyuubi said. "You need a way to trigger you power, away to shock yourself into using it."

'How?'

"Like this" Kyuubi said flaring it's chakra enough to shock Naruto.

"AH" Naruto yelled, just as everything else slowed down.

"You need a dash of my energy to activate it, so you have to learn how to use a small amount to kick start it" Kyuubi said.

"Oh" Naruto said, before his eyes feel onto Kakashi, payback time.

Naruto walked up to the man, grabbed his orange book and tore it and half before walking back to the bed and sitting down.

"Start" Naruto said, hoping it would work.

"I'll start it, since your an idiot" Kyuubi said making time flow again.

"Naruto!" Kakashi said.

"Yes?" Naruto answered.

"Why did you yell?"

"To stop time of course" Naruto said.

"You didn't stop time though" Kakashi said.

"Oh, well then, I guess I just won't pay for a replacement then" Naruto said with a shrug.

"Replacement for what?" Kakashi asked.

"Why your book of course" Naruto said grinning and pointing at the floor.

"NARUTO"

"EAT IT" Naruto yelled before jumping out the window to escape.

"I'LL KILL YOU"

"YOU CAN TRY"

Kakshi jumped out the window after Naruto

"YOU, WHERE'D HE GO" Kakashi yelled baring down on a random civilian.

"That way" The man said pointing into the woods.

"NARUTO, WHEN I FIND YOU" He let the threat hang in the air as he dashed into the forest.

"Thanks for the help man" Naruto said walking out from a bush.

"No problem kid" The man said.

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I feel like mashimoto is just fucking us all over now, he gave the Kyuubi a hand, it a giant fox, how can it fist bump, it has paws, not hands.


	3. Chapter 3

An: No comment

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"I hate him" Naruto said looking at the book, and the naked men on it.

"Sure you do kid, sure you do" Kyuubi said holding its laughter.

"So we have a week until the bridge is done, one week of doing nothing, great" Naruto said jumping onto the bed.

"You could practice" Kyuubi said offhandedly.

"And how would I go about doing that?"

"First, you learn how to get a burst of my chakra on your own, you know, so you can jump start the ability" Kyuubi said.

"How?"

"Well you see, you go up to a girl and then you, wait, my bad, you go up to Haku, and have sex with him."

"I'm gonna kick your ass one day, so much that you will probably cease to exist" Naruto said.

"Hey, I gotta get my kicks from somewhere, so anyways first you gotta learn how to harness the ability, so in other words I want you to get shit thrown at you, lots of shit, and stuff that can kill you as well, you know, for motivation."

"Right, and then?"

"Then you proceed to try and form a small channel of my chakra to yours, that way the ability will be more natural to you than breathing."

"How long would that take?"

"Maybe three, maybe four"

"Days, weeks, years, hours?"

"Oh years, unless of course you let me tear a cavity out of your chakra coils where mine will stay."

"Right, so, how bad would that hurt?"

"Only a lot."

"I'll consider it."

"You'll consider letting me literally rip apart of your body of it your body?"

"Well, either that, or wait years to be able to use something really helpful."

"Your either and idiot, or, wait, you are an idiot."

"Never mind then, I'll just do something cooler than stopping time" Naruto said walking into a big open clearing.

"How about we make a deal then?"

"What kind of deal?"

"You and me will have a much deeper link, I'll see what you see, feel what you feel, and you get access to my power if you need them."

"Why?"

"Because, I am horribly bored and wanna feel like I'm killing again, slaughtering hundreds with a swipe of my tail."

"Yeah, I can't do that."

"What?"

"I am not a giant ass fox with tails."

"But you'll accept the deal?"

"Why not?"

"Good."

"Is this gonna hurt?"

"Oh yes, quite a lot" The Kyuubi said before red chakra exploded from Naruto's body, destroying most of the near by ground, and a few trees as well.

"AGHHHHHHHHH" Oh and it was tearing apart some of his body as well.


	4. Chapter 4

An: To you ten people who Favorited this story, and the nine who have it on alert, and the two people in Malaysia, cool that you like the story and all, but it would be cooler if you reviewed it you know, cause the pairing is still undecided currently except for the fact the two people don't want a pairing and one person doesn't want Sakura, Hinata, or Haku, and one person wants Haku

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the concept, okay that is also a lie I don't own the concept of Naruto

"Kid wake up already, you've been asleep for an hour" Kyuubi said. "You came out here to train, not lie dead on the ground."

"Shut up, you could have said you were going to rip literally parts of my body of, and then regrow them" Naruto said pulling himself off the ground and looking around.

Most of the clearing looked like hell, kinda like how he felt.

"So now what?"

"Now you test you limits, after all, you now have a canal of demon energy inside your body at your disposal" Kyuubi said.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to use a knife to carve said canal did you?"

"Oh shut up" Kyuubi said. "Feel glad you didn't grow a tail or anything."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, your body absorbed my energy, you know to make the canal of it, and it shifted a little bit of your genetics around as well" Kyuubi said.

"WHAT!"

"Oh calm down, it's nothing serious just a shift in the right direction so my energy doesn't tear apart your body with each use."

"So, what?"

"Um, don't accidentally destroy a city."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

"NARUTO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN" A incredibly loud voice said making Naruto wince as he felt he ears possible pop.

"Um, here."

"YOU IDIOT!" The voice yelled again as the body that held said voice appeared, revealing a pink haired girl dressed in a red dress.

"Could you maybe, stop with the yelling you know" Naruto said, cleaning out his ear.

"YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR A WHOLE DAY, DON'T TELL ME TO BE QUITE" The girl yelled.

"Wait, a whole day?" Naruto said looking at the girl.

"Yes a whole day."

"Damn, hey Sakura, do you know when were leaving?"

"In a week."

"Great" Naruto said. 'A whole week to get this thing under my control.'

"Kakashi wants you by the way" Sakura said before walking away.

"Maybe I should be hiding this week instead" Naruto muttered to himself as he looked around the clearing. "So, time to train."

An hour later

"So, um, Stop" Naruto said trying to stop the ebb of time.

"No you idiot you have to channel my energy while doing it, that was the whole point of me carving apart your body" The Kyuubi said like he was talking to a four year old.

"Right" Naruto said as a red haze covered his body. "Stop."

At first it looked like nothing was happening, but then as he looked around he noticed that the falling leaves were frozen in the air.

"Awesome" Naruto said looking around himself inspecting the clearing.

"Now then, you can stop it, but can you fight will keeping it up?"

"Definitely, Shadow clone jutsu" Naruto said making twenty clones. "Come at me."

The first five clones were stopped before hitting him, but when the sixth one managed to knock him away time start up again.

"Dammit" Naruto said begging to cease the flow again.

And like before every time one of the clones would hit him time would start up again.

"Kyuubi what am I doing wrong?"

"You can't focus enough on the flow while you fight can you, luckily for you, when you fight with time frozen, your enemies don't have the same power, so just work on keeping your focus for now while fighting."

"This is gonna be a long week."


	5. Chapter 5

An: Now then first off, this is a faster than normal update, next, THIS STORY WILL NOT BE A HAREM, second, as requested, Hinata, Haku, and Sakura will not be the pairing, also as fro the whole, why Naruto somehow doesn't die from freezing time, all will be revealed soon

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"Kyuubi this is annoying" Naruto whined laying down.

"Well then why don't you go and mess around with people since they're all frozen."

"Actually, Kyuubi how come I'm not hungry, I've been training for three hours straight an I'm not even tired, why is that?"

"Oh, you see you can learn while time is stopped, but your bodies natural functions will freeze, so no hunger, no tired, and no need to breath."

"Oh, WAIT I'M NOT BREATHING, OH GOD I'M GONNA DIE" Naruto yelled hyperventilating.

"Calm down idiot, you won't die, your bodies is frozen, but since you have the gene you can still move through the frozen sea like it wasn't frozen, but everyone else can't since few people have the gene, and even fewer can use it."

"Oh, so, I'm gonna go and mess up people's live" Naruto said standing up and dusting himself off.

"Just don't trip" Kyuubi said before falling asleep.

"I am a highly trained ninja thank you very much" Naruto said walking towards the village. "First target, Kakashi."

Two hours later, with time still stopped

"Now to watch the mayhem" Naruto said cutting the flow of chakra around him, watching time resume like a rock falling down hill and picking up speed.

"AHHHHHHH" A woman yelled seeing as a dog just fell on top of her, sticking its rear into her face.

"NOOOOOOOOOO, THE PRECIOUS" A familiar voice yelled out in saddness,a s the famed Kakashi fell to his knee's clutching the scraps of his book. "NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"Oh god, I think I busted a rib" Naruto said barely able to stay standing watching the scene of over a hundred pranks going off at once, it was masterful.

"YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Kakashi yelled pointing at Naruto.

"Me, no way, I've been in the forest all day" Naruto said with a wave of his hand. "And Bessie, I'm sworn of pranking ever since I became a ninja."

"LIES" Kakashi yelled charging his hand with electricity.

"Um sensei, calm down" Naruto said taking a step back.

"CHIDORI."

"I REGRET NOTHING!" Naruto yelled running away from the attack that had almost killed him four days ago.

Next day

Naruto limped back into the forest, having just finished healing from taking one of the most dangerous attack he'd ever seen to the leg.

"Totally worth it" Naruto said stopping time as he sat down in the clearing.

"Now then make ten clones, and have them beat the ever living shit out of you, while you keep time paused."

"WHAT?"

"It's so you can keep your focus, you know if you ever come across some one else with this ability they will be able to fight you on even grounds, so you gotta bee able to take the punches like a man, so stop being a pussy and do it."

"Fucking fox" Naruto said making the clones, and they promptly began to beat the ever living shit out of him, as he tried to keep time stopped, they would stop when his control slipped and then begin again as he got it back under control.

"I hate my life" Naruto said as one clone decided to kick him in the face, sending him flying.

"Don't be such a girl, I used to get my ass kicked by the other Biju all the time, until I realized I was the strongest and then beat the shit out of them in return."

"That was an awful pep talk."

"SHUT THE HELL UP AND WORK OR I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL MORTAL!"

"CAN DO" Naruto yelled jumping up only to be punched again by another clone.

That continued for the better part of the day, he occasionally would stop as he felt someone watching him.

"So, that's why it happened on the bridge, he's got it too" Zubzuba said looking at Naruto work at mastering his ability. "Well, he seems to be making progress at it, but maybe a little extra help will do it."

"DUCK" Kyuubi yelled as Naruto promptly dropped to the ground to doge a very familiar head cleaving sword.

"ZUBZUBA" Naruto yelled looking at the man who nearly killed him.

"Yo."

"You, you have the gene?"

"Clearly."

"But, then why didn't you?"

"I didn't have the time, ironically enough, what with fighting a crazy asshole and all" Zubzuba said retrieving his sword. "But the question is, how can you trigger the ability?"

"I'm using demon chakra" Naruto said straight faced.

"Fine, don't tell me" Zubzuba said with a whatever look on his face.

"No seriously, I am."

"Doesn't really matter to me, but anyways, the reason I'm here, seeing as your one of the last holders of the gene, I'll give you a bit of help, but if you complain, I'll leave you here on your own to figure it out without stopping time forever hopefully."

"WHAT?"


	6. Chapter 6

An: Hello again readers, also to the one guy who reviewed, are you saying you aren't gonna read because I said, the pairing will not be Hinata? Or because the story is awful?

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"What?" Naruto asked as Zubzuba sat down.

"You see, every now and then someone comes along and says, we want to keep time frozen forever, and they try it, and the rest of us go, and tear them apart" Zubzuba said using hand gestures to get the point across.

"How many people have the gene?"

"One in a hundred thousand have it, and then one in a million have the ability to access it" Zubzuba said. "You see, few people have a secondary chakra source to activate the gene with, without the second source, its impossible to do."

"How do you do it?" Naruto asked, he had the Kyuubi, what did Zubzuba have?

"I was born with a body of water chakra permanently inside my body, I can use that as it isn't normal chakra but a form of Natural chakra, allowing me to use the gene" Zubzuba said. "It's also one of the millions of reasons I'm awesome."

"Okay, so, how many people per village can use the gene then, and how come the people with it don't notice when time stops?" Naruto asked absorbing the knowledge the swordsman could give.

"Normally there's two people per village with an activated gene, and only someone who has activated the gene can be affected by someone using it, otherwise, people would have majorly fucked up lives from our kind" Zubzuba said. "You see, once you've activated the gene, there isn't any way to deactivate it, the problem with it is, unless you stop time, you have a, for lack of better words, lag that the activator doesn't, which is why it takes all of us to stop one guy who activates it, and doesn't want to deactivate it."

"So, your experiencing a lag right now?" Naruto asked looking at Zubzuba closely.

"Yes, which is why I'm not moving a lot, could you shut the gene off, I'd prefer to have mine on" Zubzuba said getting up.

"Yeah, no problem" Naruto said as a flash of red chakra covered him before time resumed.

"Good, you've got stopping and starting down" Zubzuba said as a blue aura surrounded him, as time froze again.

"Wait, why didn't you stop time when you attacked us?" Naruto asked.

"Didn't think I would need it really, and then I needed the energy to fight Kakashi fully" Zubzuba said looking at Naruto closely. "Run to that tree and back here."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Fine" Naruto said running to the tree and then returning to Zubzuba. "What was the point of that?"

"You don't seem to have a lag when you move, that isn't really normal, you should have moved at least half that speed" Zubzuba said scrutinizing Naruto.

"It could be because of how I have the gene" Naruto said.

"How do you have it then?"

"Um, I have a demon in me, and its power leaked into me, letting me control time and stuff" Naruto said rubbing the back of his head.

"Which demon exactly?" Zubzuba asked.

"Um, the Kyuubi" Naruto said nervously.

"So that explains the foul chakra on the bridge" Zubzuba said looking him over again. "So its powers are leaking into you, lucky little punk."

"How is that lucky, I might grow a tail one day cause of it, maybe, I have no idea how it actually works" Naruto said.

"Kid, you have the strongest demon inside you, and it's powers, powers that are legendary, are becoming yours because of the seal on your body, you are the luckiest kid, ever" Zubzuba said

"That doesn't sound too bad when you put it like that" Naruto said.

"Exactly, now then I've done my job, you're informed, don't be an idiot with this power, or I'll personally kill you" Zubzuba said holding his giant sword.

"No problem chief" Naruto said with a quick salute.

"Smart ass" Zubzuba said jumping out of the clearing and letting time move.

"So, there goes my plan of using time stopping to get in years of training in a second" Naruto said looking at the clearing, feeling weird at seeing it alive once again. "So, now what?"

"Now, you train in whatever it is you know how to do of course" Kyuubi said. "Which would be, four things I think."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Dammit" Naruto said kicking some rocks. "Can you teach me anything?"

"Maybe, you have access to my powers now, less restricted than normal, so you might be able to learn some of my fire attacks, maybe just one actually" Kyuubi said thinking.

"Fire, why not" Naruto said waiting to hear more.

"If I'm right, who am I kidding, I'm right, you might be able to use the bases of Foxfire, the most powerful fire there is, you don't have full access to it of course, but partial is just as good" Kyuubi said. "So now you have to learn, so listen up,I'm only saying this once."


	7. Chapter 7

An: Any ways, I'm considering Naruto having Foxfire, but I also am considering him having a supreme mastery of lighting, anyone wanna offer suggestions?

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"Finally, the bridge is finished, I can't wait to get back to Konoha" Naruto said looking at the finished bridge.

"Probably can't think about anything other than ramen dobe" the final member of team seven, Sasuke said.

"Hey, don't say that, ramen is the food of gods, and kings, and lions" Naruto said defending the his favorite food.

"Totally" Sasuke said rolling his eyes.

"Come on you two, quite your lovers quarrel and lets get going" Kakashi said looking at the two.

"Kakashi, I'm giving you one warning about this" Naruto said threateningly. "After all, finding where you live wouldn't be too hard, I'm sure if your library of your precious books suddenly was light on fire in the middle of the night, you would be out of copies."

"That's harsh Naruto" Kakashi said growing pale under his mask at the thought.

"Then were off" Naruto said walking onto the bridge that had changed his entire life.

"GOODBYE EVERYONE" Sakura yelled giving the village of Wave a last goodbye before leaving.

The gates of Konoha

"So, who should we leave out the part where you nearly killed me, once by accident, and then you literally tried to kill me" Naruto said looking at Kakashi.

"I think that would be the best idea" Kakashi said with a nervous chuckle.

"Great, then you don't need me" Naruto said walking away from the team.

"You don't want to get your pay?" Kakashi asked looking at Naruto.

"You do remembering him saying, "I didn't have enough money to pay for a higher level mission," so I don't think were getting payed" Naruto said looking over his shoulder.

"Oh yeah" Kakashi said. "But you're still just gonna leave?"

"I have training to do" Naruto said before turning a corner.

"Then is he going away from the training fields?" Sasuke asked.

"Wait, that's the way to my house" Kakashi said, before instantly chasing after his blonde student.

"So, bye" Sasuke said walking away from Sakura.

"NARUTO" Came the shout of a murderous man.

"I STILL REGRET NOTHING" Came the voice of Naruto.

"RAIKIRI" Came the murderous yell again.

"PEACE."

Two hours later

After Naruto had stopped time to get away from the deranged man, who was using an even crazier attack to kill him this time he ended up at his team's training field.

"Right, now for training" Naruto said calling on the power of the fox. "Now then, compress the power into flames, and from there, feed the fire."

After ten minutes of focus Naruto had finally formed a blazing white flame in his hands.

"And now, for the chakra part" Naruto said, putting part of his normal chakra into the flames, and even less demon chakra into them and watching the flame become that much more intense.

"And now, release it" Naruto said throwing his two hands out and watching an inferno fly out from them and incinerate everything it touched.

"Not bad kid, only took you a week or so" Kyuubi said looking at the destruction.

"Now I see why this stuff isn't available to everyone, it's too awesome" Naruto said wondering just what to do from there.

"Practice with the flames, it toke you to long to create it this time, get better at condensing it" Kyuubi said.

"Yes sir" Naruto responded getting to work with his newest attack.


	8. Chapter 8

An: well, anyone, the first times I saw the Kyuubi it had paws with claws like a normal fox, bu when shippuden happened I guess, that is where I sorta fell off for a bit, that everyone and everything got different art, and I also, I DON'T CARE IF I JUST SPELLED SHIPPUDEN WRONG TWICE. Which I probably did.

Disclaimer: So I don't own anything from Naruto, if I did, then I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction now would I?

X

"So, how long until I can move my arms would you say?" Naruto said looking down at his severely burnt arms, he could see the bones at a few places.

"One maybe two, three" Kyuubi said not really caring.

"You are so helpful."

"I know."

"So, not that watching you talk to yourself isn't incredibly entertaining, I do have a reason for coming here" Kakashi said looking at his student.

"DON'T KILL ME" Naruto yelled seeing the man jumping away.

"Relax, killing all of your clones was a great stress reliever" Kakashi said. "But anyways, the Hokage wants to talk to you about your power."

"Right, I totally forgot to talk to him about it" Naruto said. "But, um, could we go to the hospital first, I don't know what degree burns these are, but I want to say at least a fourth."

"Oh, I thought we were just ignoring those" Kakashi said looking at his arms. "Wow, those look really bad, you should seriously see a doctor after your meeting."

"But, my arms" Naruto whined.

"Hey, I once reported to the Hokage when I had both my legs broken and half my face was burnt to a crisp, so go be a bitch to someone else" Kakashi said grabbing Naruto as they disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

At the office

"Ah hello there you two, Naruto what happened to your arms?" The old Hokage asked looking at the two.

"Were just ignoring it sir" Kakashi said.

"Oh, well then, the point of this meeting then, Naruto it has come to my attention that you seem to have an activated gene" The Hokage said. "This is a very important matter, few have ever activated it, so tell me what you know so far about it?"

"Um, it stops time, and apparently I get it from the Kyuubi" Naruto said.

"Well if that's all, I guess we'll have to have some one educate you about it, Cat, would you please get me Iruka" The Hokage said to a Anbu who appeared when they were called.

"Yes sir" The cat masked Anbu said before leaving.

"Wait, Iruka?" Naruto said not sure if he heard correctly.

"Yes, he is the current gene holder of Konoha, along with you I would say" The Hokage said.

Naruto was about to reply only to find time freeze around him.

"Fucking asshole" Naruto said knowing exactly what this meant, and so he prepared for when Iruka walked through the door.

And just when he entered Naruto sprung his trap, launching a balloon filled with ink at the man.

To his credit he did take it like a man, or as manly as you can take a balloon filled with ink to the face.

"NARUTO" Iruka shouted, forgetting about time being frozen. "YOU'RE DEAD."

"NO REGRETS" Naruto yelled jumping out the window.

"Wait, time is stopped still" Iruka said finally figuring out that Naruto had the gene, and then remembering he just jumped out of a window on the twelfth floor.

"Well, this isn't good, especially for my health" Iruka said with a sigh before following the boy.


	9. Chapter 9

An: I know the last chapter lacked substance, it was just me getting someone else with the gene into the story, to decide on Iruka, I literally threw darts at a board , the other powers Naruto gets are still undecided as is the pairing, so here is the story

"Come on Iruka, you were the only person that could catch me, guess I know why now" Naruto said with a smirk as he looked down at Iruka from on top of a building.

"Naruto, when I count to five, you better be on the ground" Iruka said.

"No way" Naruto said before running away, as the slower Iruka chased after him.

Iruka had thought Naruto didn't know how to start the gene, so he deactivated his, letting Naruto activate his, putting a lag on Iruka which made following the crazy boy even harder than normal.

"Naruto, do not make me fight you" Iruka said after climbing the building.

"Because at half speed you totally could beat me" Naruto said with excess sarcasm.

"Why are you doing this exactly" Iruka asked wondering which circle of hell he had just entered.

"BECAUSE YOU WERE A GIANT ASSHOLE TO ME EVERYDAY" Naruto yelled pointing a accusing finger at the man.

"YOU WERE BEING A ROTTEN BRAT" Iruka yelled back indignantly.

"FOX FIRE" Naruto yelled throwing a sphere of bright red flames at the chuunin.

"Fuck" Iruka said replacing himself as fast as he could to avoid incineration. "WHAT THE HELL NARUTO?"

"DON'T YELL AT ME" Naruto yelled flinging even more balls of fox fire at the poor man.

"I hate my life" Iruka said as he began to try and dodge the fire, managing to get away with minor burns only.

An hour later

Naruto after nearly incinerating Iruka for the fortieth time had stopped.

"Finally" Iruka said sitting down and nursing some of the worse burns. "I can't believe you tried to kill me."

"Oh relax, you were perfectly safe" Naruto said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Right, but why did you yell Fox fire exactly" Iruka asked.

"Well, because that's what it was" Naruto said.

"How do you have fox fire?"

"Um, I made a deal with the Kyuubi and now have a store of its chakra in my body to use readily" Naruto said rubbing his head.

"I'm definitely telling the Hokage this" Iruka said with an evil smirk.

"Could you not?"

"No."

"Why?"

"YOU NEARLY KILLED ME."

"You don't have to be such a baby about it, Kakashi almost killed me, like four times" Naruto said rubbing his side where the first attack had hit.

"Fine, back to the topic on hand, you have the gene quite clearly, you also have a way to activate it, and you have basic knowledge about the gene's back round, but can you use all of its abilities?" Iruka asked looking at the boy.

"Can you?"

"Of course I can" Iruka said smugly.

"Prove it."

"I wish I could, but you wouldn't be affected no matter what, so it would be totally pointless" Iruka said making a cover up.

"Whatever" Naruto said falling onto his back.

"So, who exactly taught you about the gene?" Iruka asked looking at the boy.

"Um, you know that one guy who tried to take over the mist village and failed and then ran away?" Naruto said.

"You mean Zubzuba, as in, Zubzuba the demon of the mist?" Iruka said.

"Pretty much" Naruto said dismissively.

"So, any questions you have?" Iruka asked.

"One, how do you use the gene?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"My family has a line of lighting users that eventually caused us to have a natural source of lighting chakra integrated into our system, which allows me to use the gene" Iruka said as he had lighting chakra dance across his body.

"Cool" Naruto said.

"So, now what?" Iruka said looking at the boy.

"Um, we go talk to the old man" Naruto said getting up and walking to the Hokage tower.


	10. Chapter 10

An: That one also lacked a large amount of substance, I know that, sorry about spelling Zabzuba wrong, this is at Anon, if three people have the power, how is that everyone, there will be between one and two per village, Zabzuba makes one for the Mist village, Naruto and Iruka make two for Konoha, so that is three, not everybody, so yeah, on with the story

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"Hello there Iruka, you're getting better at that aren't you?" The Hokage said as the two stood before him, time having been allowed to move forward once again.

"Years of practice sir" Iruka said. "But why was I called here?"

"As you can probably tell, Naruto has an activated gene as well, and I need someone to teach him about using it properly" The Hokage said. "It will be treated as an ongoing B-ranked mission."

"Is this an order, or an optional assignment?" Iruka asked.

"Both really."

"How can it be both?" Iruka asked.

"Well, if you say you'll do it, than its optional, but if I order you to do it, then its an order isn't it" The Hokage said with a small smile.

"I accept the mission then sir" Iruka said. "But I do still have to teach the academy, so how will I be able to teach Naruto as well?"

"Two options, one he helps you teach as your assistant, two use the Gai training method and wake up at two to train" The Hokage said holding up two fingers. "I think you'll pick the first option though."

"I agree with you sir" Iruka said. "Am I going to get to have a choice in any of these matters?"

"Well, since you decided to ask, more likely than not, you won't" The Hokage said.

"Great" Iruka said with a sigh.

"So, I have to help him teach small impressionable children?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" The Hokage said.

"AWESOME" Naruto yelled, thinking of all the children he was going to corrupt.

"Sir, do you really think that's the best idea" Iruka said looking at Naruto.

"Absolutely not, but I don't want him pranking everyone while time is frozen" The Hokage said looking at the boy in front of him.

"Understood sir" Iruka said sounding like his life was about to end.

"Well, lets go Iruka, we've got a lesson to prepare, ore something like that, what is it teachers do anyways?" Naruto asked as he walked out of the room.

"Sir, I don't think Konoha can survive a generation of children influenced by Naruto" Iruka said shuddering at the mental image.

"Yes, it probably can't" The Hokage said. "Luckily, I can die of old age sometime soon, and not have to deal with it."

"Why me?" Iruka muttered to himself leaving the possibly senile Hokage to his devices.

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The OOC Hokage is very much on purpose, just in case someone was going to take shots against that.


	11. Chapter 11

An: Wow, no shots were taken at the last chapter, if that's good or bad is what's worrying me

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I wish I did, not a lot, just a little bit

"Naruto for the last time, just because you're helping me at the academy does not mean you are going to sleep at the school" Iruka said looking at the boy holding a pillow and a frog hat.

"Really, but I thought teachers just slept at school" Naruto said.

"We don't, we have houses or apartments that we sleep in" Iruka said trying to not be offended by what Naruto had said.

"Wow, you sorta just blew my mind there" Naruto said looking at Iruka like he had just spoken words with incredible importance.

"I hate you sometimes" Iruka said, now taking offense.

"So, what class do we teach?" Naruto asked making a clone to carry his stuff back home.

"We're going to be teaching my class, hence why it's called my class" Iruka said walking towards the classroom.

"Right."

A few hours later

"So, who's in this class, and why is no one here?" Naruto asked.

"First, no ones here because it's Sunday, were here to go over the lesson plan for the next week, second, you'll find out tomorrow" Iruka said opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out some papers.

"Aw, do I have to be here then?" Naruto asked looking at the black board.

"Yes, I know the plan, you don't, you have to learn what you'll be teaching" Iruka said walking over to the board and writing the plan out on it.

"Hey, if you could stop time, why did you let the whole scroll incident happen?" Naruto asked intrigued by the event.

"Well, I knew you could handle the situation, which you did, and if not, I could have ended it in the blink of an eye" Iruka said putting the chalk down. "But now, you need to learn about chakra and its forms."

"Um, there's elemental chakra, and there's um, chakra chakra, as well as demon chakra" Naruto said scratching the back of his head.

"And there's nature chakra as well as many other forms, so sit down, and learn" Iruka said kicking a chair to him.

"But its so boring" Naruto said looking at the board.

"If you manage to get it down within two hours, I'll teach you a new jutsu" Iruka said.

"Right well then, let's learn about chakra" Naruto said now fully paying attention to the board and Iruka.

A few more hours later

"Naruto, come out of the ceiling" Iruka said looking at the ceiling.

"No."

"What kind of ninja is scared of a ten year old girl?" Iruka said exasperated.

"She's scary" Naruto said.

"Sorry about him, he's not good with people" Iruka said to the student who had come in for help, and then he left her alone with Naruto, and now the current situation had occurred.

"Why is he ninja while I'm an academy student?" The student asked looking at the ceiling.

"I honestly have no idea" Iruka said.

"Well I have to be home in a quarter hour, so goodbye Iruka-sensei, and idiot" The student said as she walked out.

"Is the monster gone?"

"Honestly Naruto, she's ten years old" Iruka said looking at the ceiling.

"So, she's scary."

"I'm definitely holding this over your head" Iruka said.

"Do you want more fox fire?" Naruto asked lowering his head through one of the panels.

"We'll call it even then."

"Agreed."

Next day

"So, what are we teaching them?" Naruto asked looking at the class, he recognized Konohamaru, and the demon child.

"You seriously forgot everything I told you yesterday" Iruka said, trying not to get annoyed.

"How bad could it get?"

A few hours later

"Um, who knows what chakra is?" Naruto asked, Iruka had to go do something else, so he was supposed to try and teach this lesson.

Three people raised their hands.

"You" Naruto said pointing to the third person, Konohamaru didn't actually know, and the other kid was the demon child.

"It's the the energy that is in everyone's body and lets ninjas use justu and other techniques" The student answered.

"Correct" Naruto said. "Now does anyone have something to add to that?"

The demon child raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Do you even know anything about chakra?"

"Of course I do, I'm a ninja."

"Spell chakra please."

"Dammit, C-H-A-K-E-R-A."

"No, it doesn't have e in it."

"If you so smart, then lets hear from you what chakra is?"

"Your the teacher, why would I know, I'm ten."

"Chakra is a mixture of physical and spiritual energy, it allows ninja to use jutsu and skills that would not be possible without chakra" Naruto said with a smirk.

"How long did it take you to learn that?"

"Shut up."

More hours later

"COME LETS DO TWENTY MORE LAPS AROUND THE BUILDING" Naruto yelled to the panting the class behind him.

"Does this count as cruel and unusual punishment" One of the children asked.

"COME ON YOU GUYS CAN'T BE TIRED YET, WE'VE ONLY DONE FIFTY LAPS" Naruto yelled, if he could he would have laughed evilly. "Why don't you guy use your chakra to run faster, after all if you do the laps without whining you'll be done so much faster."

"Why would we know how to use chakra" The demon child asked.

"You seem to know everything else about chakra, but you don't know how to use it, wow, kids these days" Naruto said shaking his head.

"Well then why don't you teach us how to use it, instead of having us run ridiculous amounts of laps around the building" Another student said.

"Fine, we'll go back inside where you can bother Iruka to teach you stuff" Naruto said walking to the academy door.

A bit of warning, Naruto will either be on missions with his team, teaching the class with Iruka or training with Kyuubi or Iruka for most of the next few chapters.


	12. Chapter 12

An: The child is just one student that Naruto hates, I called them the demon child because I don't feel like making a name out of nowhere for a character with such little purpose, everybody still hates Naruto, he was in the ceiling, because I went with every classroom I've ever been in, it has panels on the ceiling, and above those panels are pipes and things strong enough to hold a midget like Naruto, or at least I think they would, no teacher let me try that, and if all of the demon containers can stop time, you'll have to wait and find out won't you.

Disclaimer: I still, unsurprisingly don't own Naruto

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I hate students, so much" Naruto said falling onto his bed.

"You just don't like how they all are smarter than you" the Kyuubi said.

"Just because they could count to ten, doesn't make them smarter than me" Naruto said grabbing his frog hat.

"No, but since they know the alphabet, and you don't, it makes them smarter than you" Kyuubi said.

"Well if being smart is everything, the why isn't Shikamaru Hokage?"

"You have seen that kid right, last time you saw him he was staring at the kunai he threw, and was too lazy to stand up and walk a few steps to get."

"Oh yeah, well, I'm going to sleep, so shut up" Naruto said closing his eyes, only to open them again in a sewer.

"No, you're going to be training with me, since I do not want that fucking octopus-ox, laughing at me for having the most pathetic container around" Kyuubi said glaring at the boy.

"Can his container stop time?"

"Well, no, damn thing never learned how to" Kyuubi said. "We used to mess with him so much with it."

"There, if I fight him, I just stop time, and shank him in the head, problem solved" Naruto said.

"I don't even want to know where you learned the word shank."

"Actually, I don't even know where" Naruto said scratching his chin. "Whatever."

"Anyways, even if you can do that, if he stops you, because he probably could, and then proceeds to murder you with your own foot, I will lose a bet, a bet which I have a huge amount of money riding on it, so you're going to be trained" Kyuubi said looking down at Naruto.

"Demons use money?"

"Sometimes, don't question me kid" Kyuubi said. "Anyways, onto your training, you've gotten the basics of foxfire down, now its time to get the more advanced techniques of it."

"Like?" Naruto asked intently.

"Like making a tornado of fire hot enough to instantly incinerate anyone around you" Kyuubi said, making walls of fire.

"AWESOME" Naruto yelled.

"Too bad, there's no way I'm teaching a kid something I used to nearly kill one of the others, and you would probably end up killing yourself in a minute with the attack."

"You're the single biggest asshole ever, you know that right?" Naruto said glaring at the fox.

"Whatever, now then, I want you to practice the advanced manipulation of the flames, make shapes out of it, not just jets of fire like you normally do" Kyubbi said as a replica of Naruto made of fire formed in front of it, only to be promptly crushed by the fox.

"You're just waiting for me to one day open the seal, just so you can do that, aren't you."

"Shut up, I've been stuck here for years now, you ever been trapped inside something you consider an ant, its not fun" Kyuubi said laying down. "Now get, I need my rest."

"So you can interrupt me from my sleep, but I can't do the same to you?"

"Who's the 500ft tall demon fox here?"

"Fair enough" Naruto said, fading out of his mind scape.


	13. Chapter 13

An: And... NEW CHAPTER, also, I spell one name wrong, and nobody forgets, ever

Disclaimer: If I owned this, I would say fuck you, to sooooo many people, but I don't own it

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"How is this C-rank, we're watching cows" Naruto said, sitting on a fence.

"No, we're guarding the cows, not watching" Kakshi said. "The difference is by guarding them, we get paid."

"This is so stupid" Naruto said falling of the fence.

"Then you should be having fun dobe, after all you're stupid" Sasuke said with a smirk.

"And you're a faggot, so, dammit, I have no comeback to that" Naruto said rather weakly.

"Exactly" Sasuke said practicing hand seals.

"Sensei I'm bored" Sakura said looking at Kakashi.

"Why didn't I fail you guys again?" Kakashi asked looking at the children.

"Because you're a pedophile, or you love us" Naruto said, only to feel the wind off the rock that would have crushed his head.

"Want to try again Naruto?"

"You love us?"

"Better than being a pedophile I guess" Kakashi said. "But fine, if you're all so bored, I guess I'll teach you something."

"You can teach people?"

"You're pushing it Naruto" Kakashi said charging lightning onto his hand.

"I mean, awesome we get to learn from the great Kakashi" Naruto said, holding his arm.

"Exactly, now then, Naruto, use chakra to attach yourself to one of the cows back please."

"Got it" Naruto said standing on one of the cows. "Now what?"

"Don't fall off" Kakashi said, slapping the cow as it charged off with Naruto still on it.

"Are we actually doing that?" Sasuke asked, watching Naruto, and feeling just a little pity for him, not a lot, just a small amount.

"Of course, everyone pick a cow" Kakashi said with an eye smile.

Two hours later

"I told you to keep them safe, not make them stampede through my farm" The owner of the cows said, glaring at Team 7.

"Well, you see, there were" Kakashi said looking for an excuse.

"There were bandit, and they scared the cows, the cows went mad and stampeded like you saw, but you didn't see us, fighting for our lives against the nefarious bandits who were trying to take your precious cattle" Naruto said, in an attempt to save face.

"Is that true" The farmer said looking at the team.

"He's an idiot, he can't lie" Sasuke said. "In fact, he nearly died in the fight, if I hadn't been there to fight them back he wouldn't be here now, all because of your cattle being out in the open like this."

"Yeah" Sakura agreed.

Naruto gave a small glare to Sasuke, who only smirked back.

"I'm, well I'm sorry, if I had known such a thing would happen, I would have just kept them in the barn" The farmer said, his anger at the cows wrecking the farm gone.

"It's not problem, it's what we shinobi are here for" Kakashi said dismissively. "Now then, about the payment."

"Of course" The Farmer said handing Kakashi a wallet. "I'm sorry about the trouble I caused you."

"It's fine" Kakashi said as he and his team left the farm.

"Are we bad people, or just really good liars?" Naruto asked.

"Both really" Kakashi said. "But on the upside, we still got paid, actually, a little bit more than we should have been, so everything turned out perfectly fine."

At the farm

"Now son, those we're hero's" The Farmer said to his son.

"Bad dad, what about the cows. they're all gone" The Son said.

"W-what" The Farmer said.

"Yeah, some men came and took them" The Son said.

"Those lying" The Farmer said looking back at the direction the team left in. "YOU BASTARDS."

With the team

"Did he just?" Sasuke asked.

"Maybe, or maybe he said boo custards, we may never know" Kakashi said.

"Yeah, we're bad people" Naruto decided. "Bad people, who get paid for being assholes."

"Now you're learning Naruto" Kakashi said. "Now you're learning."


	14. Chapter 14

An: To Demon, the hell did you say?

Disclaimer: I don't own it, blah blah blah

Naruto sat on a tree stump, concentrating, and ever so slowly, a thin layer of fire formed and inch above.

'Focus, control, all that other shit' He thought to himself.

"MY YOUTH BURNS BRIGHTER THAN YOURS" A voice yelled, so loud, he literally shot a wall of fire off of his body, for about twenty feet, ruining a clearing.

"Youth?" Naruto said looking towards the voice.

And becoming horrified by what he saw.

It was a ninja, probably a genin like him, but a year or two older than him. Dressed in green spandex.

"BURN IN HELLFIRE DEMON" Naruto yelled horrified to his entire core.

"KILL IT" The Kyuubi yelled, just as horrified, and giving Naruto even more energy to use.

"YOU FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTER JUST FROM PROXIMITY OF MINE" The abomination yelled, only to be engulfed in the hell storm of flames.

"Did I get it" Naruto said, on his feet with more fire at the ready, meaning it was literally everywhere around him, in a miniature tornado.

"Impressive, your flames take on a much more solid form than mine" The boy said looking at the ashes of one of the trees.

"DIE" Naruto shot a wall of fire at the boy now, hoping to catch him with it.

"It seems my flames of youth are no where near as powerful as yours, I MUST TRAIN TO DEFEAT YOUR FLAMES, MY NEW RIVAL" The boy yelled clenching his fist and striking a pose.

"NOW I'VE GOT YOU" Naruto yelled, making a net surround him on all sides.

Only for the boy to jump out of it.

"Right, there are three dimensions, and he can jump" Naruto said, watching him fall towards the ground, and lighting it all on fire.

Only for the boy to use some kind of wind jutsu to make a clear spot with his hand.

"You are a most impressive rival, let us fight now to see who is stronger at the moment" The boy said getting into a fighting stance. "My name Is Lee, Konoha's beautiful green beast."

"Well, my names Naruto, Konoha's future Hokage" Naruto said also getting ready for a fight, putting out the fire around the area.

He knew the boy he was about to fight was fast, and skilled with wind jutsu of some kind, luckily for him, fire beats wind.

"Phoenix" Naruto said, punching at the boy, shooting out a bird of pure fire.

Lee ducked under it, only for it to come back around to explode on him launching him forwards.

"Jet" Naruto said doing and uppercut, shooting a jet of flames into Lee's chest, shooting him skyward, and them following suit.

Lee, regained himself in the air in an attempt to prevent another attack.

"I haven't got a name for this one" Naruto said, shooting fire from the soles of his feet to launch himself at Lee.

When he got within striking distance, Lee lashed out with a viscous front kick, sending Naruto higher up from the force.

Naruto used his flame jets to stay above him, and then shot down with all of his speed to grab onto Lee and shot them towards the ground.

Lee, expecting that, managed to turn it around, so he landed on Naruto.

"Dragon breath" Naruto shot out a jet of flames from his mouth.

Lee managed to not have his head seared off, but got his left arm burned by the flames.

"You are a most impressive opponent Naruto, I hope Gai-sensei doesn't mind me removing these for our fight" Lee said reaching to his legwarmers, and pulling them off. "Now, the fight begins."

Naruto watched him throw the weights, and saw the craters they made. He didn't see Lee disappear, but he felt the kick to his chin, and certainly felt the next twenty to his various body parts while in the air.

"Tornado" Naruto said, spinning in the air, after being a rag doll, and making a tornado of fire to surround himself.

He landed on the ground without being hit, but he saw a green blur moving outside the tornado, and soon it vanished, and he realized Lee was running around him at incredible speeds, removing the oxygen from the tornado, and him.

"FLARE" He yelled, as fire erupted all around from the ground, making the clearing have chunks of it raise out of the ground, or just be shot into the air.

Lee, no longer being able to suffocate his opponent with his speed went in close for an attack.

Naruto was ready that time.

"BURST" A jet of flame shot at Lee from Naruto's body.

Lee had to jump to dodge the attack, something else Naruto anticipated.

"GRAPESHOT" Naruto shot a bunch of miniature fireballs at the airborne Lee who couldn't dodge them and had to suffer more burns to his body.

"I guess it's time I use some of my better techniques as well" Lee said, before a massive amount of power shot of him. "FIRST GATE: OPEN."

To Naruto he vanished again. To Lee, the world was moving in slow motion.

Naruto was launched into the air again via a kick to his chin when he was at the apex of his flight, Lee appeared above him, and wrapped him up in his bandages.

"PRIMARY LOTUS" Lee said spinning them as they began to fall towards the earth at incredible speeds.

'KYUUBI, I NEED SOME OF YOU POWER TO SURVIVE' Naruto yelled in his mind.

"Don't just survive, WIN MORTAL" The Kyuubi yelled, as Naruto received a tails worth of chakra.

Lee kicked off Naruto to avoid damage, only for Naruto to grab his leg and drag him towards the very unwelcoming ground.

When the two hit, it was like a miniature earthquake.

"You managed to recover against the Lotus, you are truly worthy of being my eternal rival Naruto" Lee said, panting heavily from the attack.

"And you're not so bad either Lee, but we aren't done yet" Naruto said getting back into his fighting stance.

"You're right, SECOND GATE: OPEN" Lee yelled, as more power shot out of him, enough to match Naruto's one tail of chakra.

And so the two began their fight again, Lee would use his overwhelming speed to gain the upper hand, and Naruto would just do an area wide attack to knock him away.

They continued fighting like that for twenty more minutes, until the ground between the was shattered, and standing there, was a bigger Lee.

"Gai-sensei" Lee said bowing to the man.

"Lee, what are you doing" Gai said looking at the two, and the ruined clearing.

"We we're having a battle to see who's flame of youth burned brightest" Lee said.

"Is this true, Naruto I believe" Gai said turning to Naruto.

"Uh, yeah, I guess" Naruto said, scared at the sight of a larger Lee.

"EXCELLENT THEN MY MOST ADORABLE STUDENT (AN: Pretty sure that's how Gai talks)" Gai yelled hugging the two, in a bone breaking grip.

Naruto would have yelled in pain, but his lungs were too busy being crushed to let him yell.

"To celebrate, WE WILL RUN FIFTY LAPS AROUND KONOHA, ON OUR HANDS" Gai yelled running off with Lee and dragging Naruto along.

"Wait, WHAT" Naruto yelled.

Next day

"What happened to you" Sasuke said, looking at his teammate, who looked like he just fought off an army of ninja.

"You, you don't want to know" Naruto said, limping over to his spot on the bridge. "Too mentally scaring."

"Hello my students, Naruto, let me guess first, you met Lee and Gai?" Kakashi said looking at his student's condition.

"Yeah, Kakashi, I can't feel my body, from my head down, should I be worried?" Naruto asked.

"No, that will wear off in a week or so" Kakashi said. "I remember when me and Gai first met, it was the worst day of my life."

"I think he called me his eternal rival, should I change my name?"

"Yes, immediately, and get facial reconstruction surgery, and move to a different continent to be 100% safe" Kakashi said.

"On it" Naruto said limping away.


	15. Chapter 15

An: To Demon, again, what does that mean?

Attempted at weekly updates, maybe not, who knows

Can anyone guess where I got most the attack names from?

Disclaimer: In fact, I do own Naruto, like my mansion of venus, and my spaceship, and my dragons

"Kid, you've been getting pretty good with the fire, I think, against my better judgement, that I should start teaching you how to use them to an even greater extent, you can create birds with them, when we're done, you'll be creating dragons" The Kyuubi said to Naruto.

"Sweet" Naruto said not worrying that someone would overhear since he was alone in the training field.

"But remember, the fire is a part of you, you control it like you control your body, it is the ultimate weapon, no armor or shield can defend against it when you've gotten to your full potential" The Kyuubi said flaring it's energy around Naruto.

"So, if I ever have to fight you, totally forget the defense thing, and just jump the fuck of the way?"

"Yeah, or just let me take over your body, it's much easier" Kyuubi said condesing the energy into fire, making a form around Naruto. "I'm going to give you control of this, do your best not to kill yourself."

"Got it" Naruto said, chaneling his focus to keep the form stable around him, he could feel it, like he was bigger, and a fox.

The fox made of fire had, nine tails, and looked like a small Kyuubi.

"Focus" Naruto said, as he breathed in, making the fox grow larger, to the size of a car.

"Focus" He said again gritting his teeth in concentration, as the fox kept growing, till it was almost a third of the size of the Kyuubi.

"That's, you can't handle much more right now, this is a full tail of my power, any more and you'll be on a rampage, killing everything insight" The Kyuubi said, stopping the flow of power to Naruto.

"Got it" Naruto said, making the fox curl up around him, like a giant red ball of fire, with ears.

"Try and keep this stable for as long as you can, you haven't really seen a fox move around that much, you've only seen me stand up, and then lie down again, and curl up, so you'll have to study the way animals move to get this perfected."

"I have to study" Naruto said, clearly miserable at the thought.

"Yes, and if you complain, I'll stop you from using the fire" Kyuubi said, not wanting to hear the boy whine.

"Fine" Naruto said, having the fox begin to recede into his body, and then dissapear altogether.

"Are you alright Naruto?" A voice said from the clearing entrance.

"Perfectly fine, whoever you are" Naruto said, looking at the boy, who had a grey coat and sunglasses on.

"We graduated together."

"So? That's like, fourty people."

"We had this exact conversation yesterday."

"Then why don't I remember you?"

"..."

"Oh, did you hit your word count?"

"No, I hit my, 'This guy is too stupid to comprehend' count."

"Hey, I'm not that stupid."

"You can't even rememeber my name, after one day."

"Kiba?"

"No."

"Shikamaru?"

"How, how would I be him?"

"I don't know, he call me stupid, you called me stupid, are you, Choji?"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, he's litterally impossible to confuse with me."

"Are you, Ino?"

"Ino's a girl Naruto."

"Well, you weren't any of the guys I named, so either you have no gender, or you're a girl."

"I am resisting the urge to suffocate you with bugs right now."

"Um, does your name start with the letter S?"

"Yes."

"Sasuke?"

"You're an idiot."

"Whatever, I give up."

"I'm Shino, it's spelled S-H-I-N-O, if you manage to forget that, one more time, I may seriously consider murdering you" Shino said, possibly glaring at Naruto.

"Whatever" Naruto said, making fire animals, which sat and stared at Shino.

Who just stared back at them.

"I would consider asking how you can shape fire into animals, but I feel like the anwser is to stupid for me to comprehend, so I will be taking my leave now" Shino said as he walked away.

"Told you I could make him yell, now pay up" Naruto said to Kiba as he walked out from behind a tree.

"A bets a bet, and I'm amazed, in under ten minutes you made him show more emotions than I have in two years" Kiba said. "Clearly, I have much to learn in the art of being an annoying fuck."

"Yes, yes you do young grasshopper" Naruto said, pocketing the money.

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Why, because fuck you and spiderman


	16. Chapter 16

An: I write these literally at like 12, so it's very hard to make them long, and detailed, so sorry about the length

Disclaimer: Now, what if I told you, I'm actually the creator of Naruto, Kishimoto is just a puppet, and also, your left hand is a unicorn

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"Kakashi, I'm tired, my feet hurt, I'm hungry, it's hot" Naruto continually whined at his sensei.

"Naruto, if you whine one more time, I will tear you gut open, and drag you by your intestines the rest of the way" Kakashi said with a glance to the boy.

"So, what are we doing again?" Naruto said kicking a rock.

"Correction, you, you are going to be escorting a business man, he asked for you specifically, so at least pretend you can be competent" Kakashi said.

"Hey, I'll have you know, I managed to put my pants and sandals on at the same time today, so ha" Naruto said crossing his arms.

"Naruto, I won't ask why you would think of that as an accomplishment, or how you did it, just never mention it again."

"Deal" Naruto said. "So, where am I meeting this guy?"

"Up ahead, and remember, he pays you, you keep him alive and safe" Kakashi said. "It's your first solo mission, do your best not to fuck it up."

"Got it" Naruto said walking on by himself as Kakashi went back.

An hour later

"Hm, you're wearing orange, have blond hair, and you look like a ninja, are you the Konoha ninja I hired?" an elderly looking man said, slightly stroking his beard.

"Yes I am, Naruto Uzumaki at your service" Naruto said with a bow.

"I'm Hiro Shinanbu, I need you to make sure my cargo isn't harmed on the trip" Hiro said as Naruto noticed the carriage behind the man.

"No problem, I'm the best there is" Naruto said flashing one of his trade mark grins.

"Good, just don't light the forest on fire if we're attacked" Hiro said climbing up into the carriage.

"Wait, you heard about that? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT" Naruto yelled, as the carriage started to move.

Two hours later

"Now he's got one escort, the kid's more than likely a ninja, so use extreme caution when dealing with him" A masked man said to other men, similarly masked.

With Naruto.

"Why can't I sit inside?" Naruto asked, trying not to whine.

"So you can be a look out for danger of course" Hiro said from inside the carriage.

"Fine" Naruto said facing forward on top of the carriage.

"MOVE" The Kyuubi roared in his head, making Naruto immediately jump off the roof.

"Not bad for a kid, let see if you're worth the trouble of killing" A masked man said holding a kunai in both hands.

"Your mistake then, ERUPT" Naruto yelled, as the ground beneath the man exploded upwards.

"What the hell" The man said, having barely dodged the geyser of fire.

"Spear" Naruto said while pointing at the man, shooting a spear of fire at him.

"What are you doing, just stop time and stab him already" The Kyuubi said.

"Right, totally forgot about that" Naruto muttered to himself, as he stopped the flow of time.

"Now kill him already" Kyuubi said annoyed.

"Arrow" Naruto said pointing his hand at the man as and arrow of fire pierced his chest, and time started up again, causing him to erupt in flames.

"AH, IT BURNS" The man screamed in agony as his skin began to melt.

"Yeah, fire does that" Naruto said. "Blade."

The man's head rolled off his shoulders, ending his agony.

"You are as good as you said, that barely lasted five minutes" Hiro said watching Naruto destroy the remains.

"Of course I am, I do lie when I brag" Naruto said flashing another grin.

With the men

"He killed him, he killed my brother, I'm going to rim that kid's head off" One of the men said grabbing an object off his back.

"Calm down, he's fast, we know that now, but let's see if you can be faster" The other man said.

"No one is faster than me."

With Naruto

"Hiro, what is in the carriage that a man would attack it?" Naruto asked.

"It's a family heirloom, a very powerful weapon" Hiro said. "That man must have wanted it for it's power, and he probably isn't alone, so be alert."

"Got it, Kage Bunshin" Naruto said, making clones to scout the area.

An hour later

"Dammit" Naruto said grabbing his head.

"What is it?" Hiro asked.

"My clones all dispelled, it hurts if they do it together like that" Naruto said, looking over the clones information, and finding that something had hit them all, and it was almost as fast as lighting. "Hiro, get in the carriage."

"Too slow" A voice said, as Naruto was kicked down the road.

"Dammit he's fast" Naruto said trying to get up, only to be knock around by a blur of movement.

"This is for my brother" The voice said as Naruto felt his chest get hit by a what felt like a bolt of lighting.

"FIELD" Naruto shouted, blasting out fire from his body, knocking his attacker away.

"More of that fire that you used to kill brother" A man, dressed much like the first said, the only difference being gauntlets with bolts of lightning on them. "Let see if you can burn what you can't see."

With that Naruto started to get launched around by multiple hits that he couldn't even see.

'This guys faster than Lee' Naruto thought, only to be smashed into a tree.

"Inferno" Naruto said, as a whirlwind of fire spread out from him, turning everything it touched to ash.

"That wasn't even close to me, what are you, blind or something" The man taunted.

"Shatter" Naruto said, stomping the ground, making it break unevenly, making it harder to move on.

"Not bad, but not good enough to beat me" The Man said, before Naruto was smashed around again.

'Dammit, Kyuubi, I need some help here' Naruto said.

"I'm on it, when you kill him, be sure to tear those legs of his off first" Kyuubi said giving Naruto it's energy.

(An: Warning, it get a little gruesome here, I warned you.)

"I'll be sure to tear them off and beat him to death with them" Naruto said, as he was surrounded by the dark orange energy.

"What?" The man said, as Naruto grabbed his arm.

"You're very annoying" Naruto said before crushing the mans forearm in his grip, making his hand hang there by just a few pieces of muscle. "So I'll be sure you see your brother very soon."

Naruto threw the man at a tree, and then knocked him into it again with a vicious punch.

"I hope you aren't too attached to your legs" Naruto said, putting his foot on the mans chest, and then pulling his left leg off.

"AH GOD" The man screamed before being hit again by the super charged Naruto. "Please, don't kill me."

"No, you too pathetic to live" Naruto said, ripping his other leg off, and true to his word, he began to use it to beat the man to death.

When he had finished, blood was all over him, and the ground around him the leg looked ready to fall apart, and the man was lying on the ground dead.

"Good, he used those legs of his to fight, he then died by them, I'm beginning to like you more and more kid" Kyuubi said, admiring Naruto's handy work.

"I'm not sure how to feel about that Kyuubi" Naruto said walking away from the corpse after setting fire to it.

"It's a compliment kid, take it or leave it" Kyuubi said to end the conversation.

"I take by the state of your clothing, the man has been, dealt with" Hiro said.

"That's one way of putting it" Naruto said hopping back up onto the roof of the carriage.

"Yes well, I'd rather not get into details about it" Hiro said as the carriage began to mpve again.

With the man

"So the kid's a demon container, good, he'll put up a nice fight, and I'll enjoy watching the life leave his eyes" The final man said watching the carriage.

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I'm considering giving Naruto a weapon, thoughts?

Also, is the a good enough chapter length for you Kyuubi Gohan?


	17. Chapter 17

An: I'm surprised, it seems you, the readers want the pairing to either be a gender bend, or man on man, and demon, I'll ask what that means, fully knowing you won't tell me, codexkeeper, your entire hand is a unicorn, full sized and everything

Disclaimer: Meow, meow meow meow, MEOW MEOW MEOW, clearly, through the use of my incredible cat dialect, I can own Naruto

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"So tell me, why do you need an escort?" Naruto asked Hiro.

"Oh, well you see, I need someone to roll a red carpet out for me whenever I walk on the ground, hence why I'm staying in the carriage" Hiro said patting a large carpet.

"So not the ninja that attacked us?"

"Why certainly not, if you would have been kind enough to roll out the carpet for me, I would have dealt with them myself" Hiro said.

"So, you want me to not try and stop the ninja from killing me, but instead take a carpet and roll it out for you to stop him?" Naruto said.

"Yes, that is indeed why I hired you" Hiro said, stroking his old man beard.

"I feel like you're lying to me, but I can't be sure, unless you're willing to go that far for a joke, I don't think you are" Naruto said, making a fire ball and playing with it.

"No you're catching on" Hiro said.

After a few minutes of silence between the two, in which Naruto considered if the man he was escorting was actually in need of an escort. A very large explosion went of under the carriage, knocking it into the air.

"Shit" Naruto said, hopping off the roof to fight.

"Good, the blast didn't kill you, I want to do that myself" A voice said from behind him.

"Who the hell are you guys" Naruto said turning around.

"I am the leader, or was the leader of the Elemental triad" The man said. "But since you disposed of my associates, it would appear it's now just me."

"Are you going to give up, or do I have to kill you?" Naruto said, getting into a loose fighting stance.

"Oh? Kill me, you? Now that's funny" The man said, as he unwrapped a sword. "You see, I know your secret boy, and that seems to be the only thing you've got going for you, so I'll be killing you here, and then the artifact will be mine, followed very closely by the world."

"Wow, your plans escalate very fast" Naruto said. "But, the whole, killing me and world domination thing, I'm not a fan, so, I'll be stopping you I guess."

"I was hoping you say that" The man said, pointing the blade at Naruto. "A shame, you'd be a great solider to me."

Wasting no time, Naruto ignited is arms and legs and rushed the man.

"Too obvious" The man said, sidestepping, and stabbing Naruto, only to be shocked when Naruto exploded.

"ERUPT" Naruto yelled, being shot from the ground, uppercutting his opponent with the force of a volcanic eruption.

The man regained his bearings in the air, and used the sword to kick off towards Naruto.

"Burst" Naruto said, shooting a jet of flames from his feet to fly at the man and meet him in the air.

"Judgement strike" The man said, covering the blade with chakra and slashing at Naruto, shooting a beam of white chakra, almost cutting him in half.

"Barrier" Naruto said, as a sphere of fire covered him stopping the attack.

The man used the sword to kick off again so as to not fly into the wall of flames.

"Grapeshot" Naruto said, aiming his hands at the man, and shooting small balls of fire at him.

"Divine mirror" The man said, waving the blade in front of him, making a wall of white chakra, which reflected the fire back at Naruto.

"How about this then, BOLT" Naruto said, shooting a bolt of fire at the mirror, punching through it, the man not being there.

"Judgement strike" The man said shooting the attack from above Naruto.

Having no time to make a barrier, the attack sent Naruto to the ground, leaving a cut across his chest.

"AGHH, DAMMIT" The Kyuubi roared, as a cut seared itself across it's chest. "BRAT DON'T LET THOSE HIT YOU AGAIN, THAT SWORD WILL KILL YOU."

'WHAT' Naruto yelled at it, rolling out of the way so as not to be stabbed through the head.

"It's made from gold chakra, tempered by it, it can kill demons, and by proxy, demon containers, if it hit's you, you're dead" Kyuubi said, giving Naruto two tails of chakra to fight with.

"So, ready for the real fight kid" The man said pointing the blade at Naruto again.

"You best bet is to use foxfire on the sword, it will corrupt the chakra inside of the blade if you use enough on it" Kyuubi said.

"You know it" Naruto said, making darker fire. "And this time, that toy of yours won't save you."

"We'll see, Heavenly strike" The man said, holding the blade up towards the sky, and slashing down shooting a wall of chakra at Naruto.

Instead of blocking the attack, Naruto jumped to the side, and shot a jet of fire at the sword blade. And then shot more fire at it for good measure.

"This blade won't melt under the heat of such weak flames" The man said rushing at Naruto, preparing another slash attack.

"INFERNO" Naruto yelled, as a whirlwind swirled around him and the man, before promptly igniting.

"Faith shield" The man said, quickly stabbing the ground making a dome around him so as to not be incinerated. "Dammit, that kid got my arm with that."

"SPEAR" Naruto yelled, covering his hand in a spear of dark flames, and stabbing through the shield.

"AGH" The man yelled, having been hit on his right shoulder, which now had a hole in it.

"THE SWORD, NOW" Kyuubi roared as Naruto redirected most of the inferno onto the blade.

"What, what are you doing to the blade" The man said in horror, as the pure energy of the sword became malevolent and dark.

"I'll be taking that, after all, you don't seem to fit the ballet to wield it" Naruto said grabbing the sword's blade, and ripping it from the man's grip.

"The holy sword of the demon slayer, now is mine" Kyuubi said, corrupting the sword even more.

"You, you're a monster, that sword was the purest thing in creation, made by the gods to slay demons" The man said, staring at the now demonic looking blade.

"Well, it's ours now, so, I'll let you have the honor of being the first to die by this glorious new blade" Naruto said, before lopping the man's head off at the neck.

"So, those men were the last of the monk order then, no wonder they wanted my weapon" Hiro said walking over to Naruto as Kyuubi's chakra receded.

"You knew these guys?" Naruto asked, looking at the body.

"Everyone did, the order kept the blade of the great demon slayer protected and maintained, of course a demon destroyed their sanctuary twenty years ago, they must have been the survivors" Hiro said.

"I'll destroy the body then, a monks funeral, or something like that" Naruto said, channeling fire to his hands, and burning the body of the dead monk to ash.

"Well come along Naruto, it will be on foot from here, he destroyed the carriage, and be careful with that blade, even in it's current state it's power is unrivaled by any other" Hiro said, grabbing a pack and continuing along the path.

"How long will the journey be on foot?" Naruto asked following the elderly man.

"A day, maybe two if you keep dragging your feet like that" Hiro said walking purposely.

"Hey, I've had three fights in the past five hours, give me a break" Naruto said, sealing the blade into a scroll.

"You can rest when your dead, like I will, so hurry up, your young, so at least act like you're full energy" Hiro said as they walked off into the distance.

"Pein won't like that one bit, the slayer's sword is with the Kyuubi, not good at all" A half black and a half white man said from inside a tree.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I thought about it, and decided Naruto will probably have a sword, as a baseball bat, while hilarious, wouldn't be too effective in a ninja battle, and nun-chucks, those are Gai's thing.

And anyone who caught onto the whole, ours thing, I thought that will in his demonized state, due to his closer tie to Kyuubi, they're kind of going to be a symbiote, like the venom suit in spiderman


	18. Chapter 18

An: So, turns out, I can go without sleep, lucky you guys

Disclaimer: BOW BEFORE ME, FOR I AM GALACTUS, DEVOURER OF WORLDS

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"So, it seems that there's a river in front of us" Hiro said, looking at the very evident river.

"Yes, it does appear that there is a river" Naruto said, giving up on understanding the senile old man.

"Well, guess I have to go back" Hiro said turning around and walking back the way the came from.

"You're kidding right, it's a river" Naruto said in disbelief.

"What do you think, I'm trying to get a running start here" Hiro said facing the river, and promptly running at it very fast.

'Five bucks he doesn't make" Naruto thought.

"You're on" Kyuubi said.

"Hyah" Hiro said, leaping into the air, and managing to fully clear the river in one jump.

'Dammit' Naruto thought, before also jumping over the river.

"Ha, these old bones still got some spring in em" Hiro said continuing on the journey.

"So, what are you carrying with you that's so important?" Naruto asked.

"Why, the blade you now have, it was meant to be a holy weapon, it had a counterpart, one made of pure demonic power, I'm transporting it to the monastery, we're going to destroy it once and for all" Hiro said, with a fierce look.

"Do you hate the thing?" Naruto asked.

"It killed my family, some fool bandit had it, thought he could use it, he was weak, the blade made him a puppet for it's power, controlled him, and wrought destruction where ever it went, killing all that crossed it's path, including my family, I fought back the puppet and killed the man, I sealed it in a scroll that could contain its power, it will never harm another living thing again after tomorrow" Hiro said, walking faster.

'You know about that blade?" Naruto asked the Kyuubi.

"I kind of made it, a long time ago, thought it was under the ocean still, someone must have found it, damn thing was powerful alright, it's a living blade, my chakra made it evolve, sort of, gave it a mind, sadly, it means it doesn't need a wielder to kill, it is the ultimate weapon, and I certainly won't miss the damn thing" Kyuubi said, with a flick of a tail.

'You made a sentient weapon, for what?' Naruto asked.

"The hell of it" Kyuubi said with a shrug. "Seemed like a good idea."

'Of course' Naruto said, questioning the sanity of the hundreds of year old demon.

"Come on Naruto, I want to be there tomorrow" Hiro said, increasing his pace.

"I could carry you there, it'd take, like an hour" Naruto said.

"No, I'm a man of dignity" Hiro said.

"So you hire a ninja a guard?"

"You were cheap, and you've managed to keep me alive so far" Hiro said. "So, keep up the good work."

"Why do I get the weird clients" Naruto said, keeping pace with Hiro.

Next day

"So, what does this place look like?" Naruto asked.

"You'll see a tall bell tower, white walls, and a large stone gate" Hiro said.

"Like that tower?" Naruto said, pointing out something over the treeline.

"Come on, hurry up kid" Hiro said, beginning to run towards the tower

Twenty minutes later

"Where here, I can finally avenge my family" Hiro said running closer, only to his knees. "What, what happened."

Naruto looked up at the monastery, or what was left of it, it was a ruin, like a demon attacked it.

'KID GET OUT OF THERE NOW' Kyuubi roared.

"HIRO, WE HAVE TO LEAVE" Naruto yelled, as the ground began to shake, and a giant silhouette came from behind the ruined temple.

"Oh god" Naruto said, looking at the monster.

"RAWRR" The demon yelled before attacking.

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Cliff hanger, like dick

On the short side, but the next one will be epic, maybe


	19. Chapter 19

An: So, who's mad? Show of hands please, alright, one, five, two, negative eight, fourteen, and seven, alright, clearly I didn't count shit, but you get the point, demon, are you saying you like the story, calling it super? Or am I one crazy fuck, and what you're saying makes perfect sense?

Disclaimer: I'm a genie, so, all your wishes are granted, except you, not yours, I want you to suffer in jealousy, while everybody owns Naruto

But you

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"KID, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" Kyuubi yelled, as Naruto grabbed Hiro and started to run.

"It's, it's going to kill us" Hiro said, defeated.

"NO IT WON'T, NO START RUNNING GODDAMMIT" Naruto yelled, throwing the man in front of him, making him run.

'Kyuubi, what the hell is that thing?' Naruto said.

"That, is one angry sonuvabitch" Kyuubi said. "And it's looking for your new toy."

"So, ditch the sword, and hope it doesn't care about me" Naruto said, getting ready to the throw the sword.

"NO, USE THE FUCKING THING, AND STAB THAT MOTHER FUCKER TILL HE'S DEAD" Kyuubi yelled, giving Naruto access to large amounts of it's chakra.

"I like that plan" Naruto said, as three orange tails made of chakra appeared behind him.

"KYUUBI, I'LL KILL YOU" A very loud demonic voice boomed, shaking the trees.

"LIKE HELL YOU WILL" Kyuubi roared, being unheard, but still flaring it's energy to signal a response.

"Kyuubi, what the fuck is this thing?" Naruto said, as the thing came closer.

"That, is what's left of the Juubi, SO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND KILL IT" Kyuubi yelled, getting the point across.

"THE TEN TAILED" Naruto yelled, as a giant chimera monster came charging at him.

"YES, NOW KILL IT."

"ERUPTION" Naruto yelled, as a whole volcano erupted under the Juubi.

"THAT THE BEST YOU GOT" The Juubi said in a mocking tone, coming out of the blast unhurt.

"GOD HEAVE" Naruto yelled, slashing at the demon with the sword after filling it with his chakra, shooting a blast of purified energy at it, knocking it back.

"KEEP ON IT KID, DON'T LET UP" Kyuubi yelled, making a literal inferno around Naruto to act as a shield.

"DRAGON" Naruto yelled, as a solid dragon shot from the flames, knocking the Juubi back again.

Naruto kept using a combination of fire attacks, and shots from the sword to continue pushing it back.

"ENOUGH" The Juubi roared, blasting a shot of energy at Naruto, who used the blade to block, only to be shot back from the impact.

'Dammit, it isn't enough, the sword is corrupted, it can't kill Juubi, just wound it' Kyuubi thought. 'Unless we purify it again, but the temple is in ruins now, no chance that will work.'

"KYUUBI, WHAT DO I DO" Naruto yelled jumping out of the way of another devastating attack.

"GET TO THE TEMPLE, NOW" Kyuubi yelled, giving Naruto almost six tails of it's power, hoping it wasn't too much for him to handle.

"GRAH" Naruto roared, as the demonic energy surged from him, destroying the area around him.

"FIRST I'LL KILL THIS BRAT, THEN I'LL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL KYUUBI" The Juubi roared as it rushed Naruto.

Using the power the Kyuubi had given him, Naruto surged forward, at speeds that Gai would have trouble keeping up with, his goal being the ruined temple. Instead of meeting the all powerful demon in a fight, he slide under it, as it was big enough he could simply do that.

"We've got time this just right kid, if we mess up, we're dead" Kyuubi said, as with each passing second Naruto got closer to the temple.

'Kyuubi, I can't, fight it, this power' Naruto said, as the Kyuubi's chakra began to overwhelm him.

"KEEP RUNNING DAMMIT" Kyuubi yelled, making Naruto run faster.

As he crossed the threshold of where the gate used to be for the temple Kyuubi stopped the flow of energy it was giving Naruto.

"STOP" Naruto yelled, as time stopped around him, freezing the Juubi in place.

"Now, this is going to hurt a lot kid, and we might die from this too, you have to reverse the flow of time, make us go back to before the Juubi destroyed the temple, and fix the sword, you'll have between thirty to forty minutes before you're thrown back to the present" Kyuubi said, charging it's chakra.

"I''l do my best" Naruto said, as he watched time move in reverse, the Juubi began to fix the temple it looked like, before it disappeared entirely.

"No, you're going to have to fucking do it" Kyuubi said, as he was far enough back no paradoxes would trigger, and that the Juubi wouldn't interrupt them hopefully.

"Right, don't want the giant demon to kill me" Naruto said, as time began to move again.

"GO" Kyuubi yelled, as Naruto ran to the temple entrance, which now was intact.

Only to be hit with a shot of white chakra when he stepped into the temple. And promptly passed out.

Inside his mind

"So, you're the boy who ruined my power" A voice resonated from around the sewer. "Very impressive, turning back the hands of time, luckily for you, being inside my home allows me to repair myself, but you are not yet worthy to wield my power."

"Please, let me use your power, I need it to fight the Juubi, otherwise it will destroy my home" Naruto said, almost begging the sword.

"Prove yourself worthy, and then my power will be yours to command" The voice said, as a bright light blinded Naruto.

When he could see again, he wasn't in the sewer anymore, but in a valley.

"How do I prove myself" Naruto said, only for the ground to shake as a dragon dropped into the valley.

"Why, by defeating me of course" The dragon said, speaking eith the voice from earlier.

Naruto looked at the dragon in front of him, and ignited his arms to prepare for the battle.

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Next time, will Naruto defeat the dragon and gain the power to defeat the Juubi, or will I make it into another cliffhanger

FIND OUT NEXT TIME, which will be whenever


	20. Chapter 20

An: So, um, right, writing, yeah, fuck

Disclaimer: Fuck you I'm spider man

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"You're going to use fire, on a dragon?" The giant beast said looking at Naruto.

"Okay, so not my best idea, but, I can't really do anything else" Naruto said, putting out the fire.

"I said defeat, that doesn't mean a battle" The dragon said. "Use your strengths."

Naruto thought about it for a few minutes, looked up at the dragon.

"Ramen eating contest, me and you, right now" Naruto said, dead serious.

"You're an interesting one boy" The dragon said as a giant bowl of ramen materialized in front of it.

A large human sized bowl appeared in front of Naruto.

"On my count" The dragon said. "EAT."

Naruto threw back the bowl, ignoring the chopsticks, devouring the ramen in a matter of moments.

"DONE" Naruto yelled, as the giant dragon looked at him, having barely even begun.

"A very interesting one indeed, but you have won, somehow, I question you mortals more now than ever" The dragon said, as the ground began to shake. "I am healed, we shall return to the present to fight the beast trying to eat you."

"Right, forgot about that" Naruto said, as a bright flash erupted around him and he was outside the temple watching as it was destroyed, and then time moved forward normally again, and he was back fighting the beast.

"I SUMMON YOU" Naruto yelled, throwing the sword forward at the demon.

And watching it bounce off the demons head.

"Did you just throw the most powerful weapon created, at it's face, without taking it out of the case?" The Kyuubi asked.

'Shut upppppp' Naruto thought at it, looking at said demon.

"... I'LL RIP YOU APART FOR THAT"

"You're an idiot" Kyuubi said. "And now we're going to die."

"DRAGON" Naruto yelled, lighting up.

The sword, which was lying on the ground, turned into fire and flew into Naruto, turning his flames gold.

"Boy, I'll forgive you for that this time" The dragons voice said. "But never do that again."

"Got it" Naruto said as he flared his chakra, making a visage of a giant dragon appear behind him.

"YOU" The demon yelled, getting even angrier at the sight of the dragon.

"You are not complete, you stand no chance here" Naruto said, feeling the dragons strength flowing through him.

"I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU, NO ONE MOCKS ME" The demon roared, charging Naruto.

"Destroy it" The Dragons voice said inside Narutos head.

"Holy flame" Naruto said, as the fire around him shot at the demon, covering it and burning it to death.

"I'LL BE BACK, DON'T THINK I'M DONE HERE, DON'T BREATH EASY, I'LL COME BACK, AND I WILL KILL YOU" The demon roared as it's body was destroyed and the chakra in it flew away.

"What was that?" Naruto asked.

"That was a part of the demon Juubi, not all of it, just it's rage, only one part of it's power, we were lucky" The Dragon said as the flames around Naruto died out.

"You. you're alive" Hiro said, walking closer to the ruined temple.

"Of course, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, THE TOUGHEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND" Naruto yelled pointing at himself with his thumb.

"I'll remember that kid" Hiro said before falling onto his butt. "You killed a demon, amazing."

"You alright?" Naruto asked walking over to the man, and promptly falling over as well.

"Kid, you've earned your pay it seems, course, now we just got to make it back in one piece too" Hiro said laughing as he stood. "Come on, we're going home."

"But what about the sword?" Naruto asked, looking at the demon blade.

"Take" Hiro said holding it out to him. "It belongs to you by birthright."

"What?" Naruto said looking surprised.

"The last sword ever made by the greatest smith in the world, your family, blessed by the Kyuubi, and capable of killing armies in one attack, and I'm giving it to some dumbass kid with threw a holy weapon at a demon, clearly I'm mentally ill =, but it's yours kid" Hiro said as Naruto grabbed the case.

Fours day later Konoha

"Ah, how did the" The sentence died in the Hokages throat as he saw Naruto carrying two of the most powerful weapons ever made, and was chewing on one.

"It went well, killed a demon, killed some guys, beat a dragon in an eating contest, and got a family heirloom apparently" Naruto said sitting down.

"... So, you, you're chewing on a sword why?" The Hokage asked.

"Got bored, and it wouldn't open, I wanna see if it's a sword made of licorice" Naruto said putting it down.

"Right" The Hokage said. "Kakashi, you can come in now."

"Naruto, you're back finally, thought I'd have to replace you on the team because you died" Kakashi said giving his student a pat on his head.

"Almost, but you can't get rid of me just yet" Naruto said with a signature grin.

"Kakashi, you said you'd like to register your team for the exams this year, do you think they're ready?" The Hokage asked.

"Well, we've got three men, so yeah I do" Kakashi said. "I Kakashi Hatake nominate team seven for the chuunin exams."

"Alright then, you have two weeks to get ready" The Hokage said, giving Kakashi three entry forms.

"So, I'm getting promoted?" Naruto asked looking up hopefully.

"If you can beat the other genin in the exam yes" The Hokage said.

"So, I'm getting promoted?" Naruto said with a confident smirk.

"Don't let your ego get to big, you're still a kid" Kakashi said taking Naruto and leaving.

"Sadly, he's already sealed his fate" The Hokage said, reading the report from Hiro. "Their on the move, ANBU, get me Jiraya."


	21. Chapter 21

An: I'll be nice, try for another update, I mean who need sleep anyways

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm spiderman, lets go with that

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It had been a few days since Naruto had gotten back, he only had a week and a half now to get ready for the exams.

"Kyuubi, what do I need to work on?" Naruto asked, sitting in an empty clearing.

"To remember, that a. you can stop time, so just murder them when they can't fight back" Kyuubi said. "There is no b."

"But, where's the fun there?" Naruto asked, remembering what it felt like to tear apart the ninja in a fair fight. "Why did it feel like so much fun, killing them?"

"You've got a demon inside you kid, your heads not exactly in good condition, the fact that you aren't a crazy murder machine is amazing" Kyuubi said chewing on it's paw.

"But, it felt right" Naruto said, looking at the trees around him. "Like I'm supposed to kill."

"Well, yeah, it's your job, as a ninja, you know, an assassin to kill" Kyuubi said.

"I know, but what happens when I don't just kill the bad guys?" Naruto asked looking up at the sky.

"The line of a murder and a hero is drawn at the line of the first innocent who dies at your hand, remember that boy" The Dragon said.

"NARUTO" A very loud, fast, green blur yelled, as it kicked him through a tree.

"LEE, I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT" Naruto yelled getting up.

"I'm sorry my friend, but this might be the last chance I've got to fight you before I take my exam to become a chuunin" Lee said getting into a fighting stance.

"So you and your team are in the exam too, great, I'll see you there then, just don't lose to anyone else" Naruto said with a smirk before walking out of the clearing.

"The same goes to you my rival, I can't let anyone else beat you" Lee said. "Maybe now we'll get to break our streak of ties."

A week before the exams

"Phoenix" Naruto said, as a bird formed out of fire appeared on his shoulder, instead of the crude one he used to make this one looked like and actual bird.

"Hmph, I thought I was the fire user on this team" Sasuke said, watching Naruto and feeling jealous. "How do you do that anyways?"

"I dunno" Naruto shrugged as the bird flew off his shoulder and flew around the training ground. "Just sort of, do it."

"Very informative" Sasuke said rolling his eyes.

"You're just mad because you can't copy it with your eyes" Naruto said as the bird landed in front of Sasuke.

"Obviously, you're using a level of control unheard of in fire chakra" Sasuke said. "No Uchiha in history could do that."

"Well, I'm not a Uchiha, so why do I care" Naruto said as the bird expanded and became a small dragon.

"Whatever" Sasuke said, turning around, ignoring the animals made of fire.

"Dragon" Naruto said, as the small dragon, soon grew into a dragon the size of a house.

"Not bad kid, you're getting much better with the smaller details" Kyuubi said inspecting Narutos work.

"I find this a rather flattering piece of art" The Dragon said, seeing a near replica of itself.

'Hey, making dragons is really hard' Naruto said to the things inside his head.

"Naruto, I'd prefer you keep the giant fire monsters at a smaller size, so that I don't walk into them" Kakashi said looking at the dragon.

"Fineeeee" Naruto whined, as the dragon compressed into a smaller one again.

"Better" Kakashi said. "Now come on, fifty laps around Konoha."

"Who are, Gai?" Naruto asked.

"I have to get you kids in shape for the exam, like I should have been doing in the past six months" Kakashi said. "So fifty laps, on your hands."

"No boulders tied to our feet?" Naruto asked sarcastically.

"If you don't hurry up, there will be" Kakashi said.

"Right. come one guys, fifty laps, that's only forty nine more than one" Naruto said hopping onto his hands, and beginning to do fifty laps around his home village.

Day of the exams

"Sasukeeeeee, my feet hurt, can you carry me" Naruto whined as they walked into the exam building. "Sasukeeeeee, I'm tired."

"NARUTO SHUT UP ALREADY" Sakura yelled, hitting him over the head.

"Sasukeeeee, Sakura's bullying me" Naruto whined, only to be hit again.

"Naruto, stop talking please" Sasuke said. 'Why are we using this plan?'

"But Sasukeeeeeee" Naruto whined, only to be hit again.

'Right, because it's entertaining' Sasuke thought to himself as they walked up the stairs, ignoring a mob of people trying to get into a door.

"Sasukeeeeee, why are there so many stairs" Naruto whined as they went up the stairs.

"There's twelve stairs, that's not that many" Sasuke said, trying very hard to not hit the boy.

"Sasukeeeeeee, I'm tireeeeeed, my feet hurt, I wanna go home, this is boring" Naruto whined, sounding like a small child.

'This is going to be a very long exam' Sasuke thought to himself as they finally reached the third floor.

"Kid, why are you so good at being bitchy and whiny?" Kyuubi asked.

'Practice' Naruto responded as he walked through the door to the exam room.

And got kicked forward.

"Good to see you too Lee" Naruto said from the floor.

"My most youthful rival, why are you still on the floor?" Lee asked, seeing Naruto not move.

"Leeeeeee, why'd you have to kick me so hard, that hurttttt" Naruto whined.

"This is your new rival who is incredibly strong Lee" Lees teammate Neji said, looking at Naruto.

"He's normally more on fire" Lee said poking the apparently dead boy.

"Lee, what did we tell you about no eating every mushroom you find in the woods" Lees other teammate Tenten said.

"I didn't" Lee said, poking his friend who still hadn't moved from the floor.

"Leeeee, that tickles" Naruto said rolling around on the floor.

"Is he for real" One of the random genin in the room asked, looking at him roll around on the floor.

"Sadly" Sasuke said walking over to Naruto and grabbing the boy before dragging him away.

"Interesting" A boy with silver hair and glasses said, watching team seven. "They're hiding something about that kid."

"Good something or bad something?" The boys teammate asked.

"A very interesting something" The boy said with a smirk.

"Mother doesn't like that boy" a red haired boy from the sand village said, staring at Naruto.

"Gaara, don't cause a scene hear" The boys teammate said.

"Kankurou, shut up, or I'll kill you" The boy named Gaara said.

"That's the Uchiha boy" a blond haired girl from the cloud village said watching team seven.

"Remember, we can't beat him until the final part of the exam" another ninja from cloud said.

"Alright maggots, follow me to your first exam" a man with a bandana and many scars said before walking away.

"Great, try not to fail us, alright Naruto" Sasuke said looking at his teammate who was still on the floor.

"Pretty colors" Naruto said, looking through a kaleidoscope.

"We're doomed" Sakura said, walking after the man.

"Yeah" Sasuke said with a smirk. 'But so is everyone else.'


	22. Chapter 22

An: Rawr, I'm a fanfiction writer, I sell fanfics for reviews, I'm a review whore

Disclaimer: FOR SCIENCE

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The first exam had been going on for half an hour, and a few had already finished, while some were, well, distracted.

"QUACK QUACK QUACK, I AM A DUCK" Naruto said in between slamming his head against the desk.

"Proctor, can he be thrown out?" A random genin asked.

"Sadly, no, he hasn't been caught cheating, and, there's a small chance this is somehow part of an elaborate strategy" Ibiki said, very unsure of the sentence.

"I AM A DUCK" Naruto yelled, slamming his head against the desk again, shattering it. "MY EGG, IT'S BROKEN."

"Naruto, we went over this, you're a male duck, you can't lay eggs" Sasuke said, rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, right, then what did I break" Naruto asked, looking at the desk like it was an alien object.

"You broke a... You broke an a" Sasuke said nodding to himself.

"AN A" Naruto yelled, looking fearful. "Does that mean?"

"Yes, it does" Sasuke said. as Naruto took a fish out of his pocket and began slapping himself with it.

"A, A IS A LETTER, WHICH I HAVE NOW BROKEN" Naruto yelled, much to the ire of the other genin in the room.

"Proctor, he isn't even taking the exam now" The same genin said.

"What do you mean, his paper is entirely filled out" Ibiki said holding up Narutos paper for the genin to see.

"PROCTOR, HE'S CHEATING AND STEALING MY ANSWERS" Naruto yelled throwing the fish at the boy.

"You're right, you, you and your team are disqualified" Ibiki said. "Get out."

"SERIOUSLY" The boy yelled, only to be dragged out by another proctor, followed closely by his team.

'Wow, this is actually working' Sasuke said, watching as the fourth team was thrown out because of Naruto.

"PROCTOR, WHAT GENDER IS THIS" Naruto yelled, pointing at some random genin.

"... A girl?" Ibiki said looking at the person.

"WRONG THAT'S A BOY, YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED, GET OUT" Naruto yelled, slamming a fish onto Ibikis head.

"Dammit, I was so close to passing this time to" Ibiki said before walking out of the room sullenly.

'Did Naruto just break the exam?' Sasuke thought to himself, as the proctor for the exam, threw himself out.

"YOU, WHAT COLOR IS THE GROUND?" Naruto yelled, pointing at Gaara.

"..." Gaara refused to say anything besides glare at the boy.

"CORRECT, THE GROUND IS MANY COLORS, YOUR REWARD IS A FISH" Naruto said, leaving a fish on Gaaras desk and walking away.

"NARUTO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Sakura yelled, confused.

"WHAT'S MY FAVORITE FOOD BESIDES RAMEN" Naruto yelled, pointing at her.

"Um, chicken?" Sakura said, unsure.

"IT WAS A TRICK QUESTION, RAMEN IS THE ARYAN RACE OF FOOD" Naruto said, throwing boxes of ramen at everyone.

"Why did I sign up for this" One of the chuunin proctors said with a sigh.

An hour later

After three more teams quit, and two more were disqualified, Ibiki decided to come back in and end the exam.

"Now, the point of this exam, was, well, to see who could take being hit by a trout the most" Ibiki said, still confused about the entire ordeal.

"THIS IS A TUNA, NOT A TROUT, YOU FAIL" Naruto said, slamming the man in the head with a fish.

"... I hate my job some days" Ibiki said.

"NARUTO, DOWN" Sasuke said, as Naruto obediently sat down like a dog.

"Anyways, you've somehow survived this exam, and will advance to the next exam, a team vs. team free for all, an escort should be here shortly to take you there."

An almost as if on cue a ball smashed through the window and exploded, putting up a banner.

"I'm the next proctor for this exam, Anko Mitarashi, follow me" Anko said, before jumping out of the window.

"ONWARD TO VICTORY" Naruto yelled jumping out the window immediately, followed by the rest of his team, and then the other genin teams.

At the forest of death

"This exam is very simple, each team has one of these two scrolls, you want both of them, get them from some other team, by any means necessary" Anko said.

Naruto raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"Does that include seduction via fish suit?" Naruto asked, with the straightest face possible.

"I'm afraid to say yes, but yes that includes that disturbing thought" Anko said as forms were passed out. "Sign these please, this way, if you die, or are violently raped by a giant fish, we aren't responsible."

"Good good" Naruto said, rubbing his hands together evilly.

"The exam will start in twenty minutes, find a gate, and when I say start, you better fucking start" Anko said before walking away.

At team sevens gate.

"Okay, the plan worked flawlessly" Sasuke said, high-fiving Naruto.

"There was a plan?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, Naruto makes other teams drop out in any way he can, while making them all think he's mentally disabled" Sasuke said.

"And it worked perfectly" Naruto said, as he strapped his swords onto his back. "Now we go in, they think we're weak, and we gut them like fish."

"So, you were just acting like that?" Sakura asked, shocked. "I thought you were acting normal."

"Fuck you too" Naruto said as they all got ready to move out.

"START YOU MAGGOTS."

Half an hour later.

"Alright, think we're far enough in?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"Yeah, light em up" Sasuke said, as Naruto ignited his arms, and started to form hundreds of fire animals and send them everywhere.

"You guys made an actual plan?" Sakura asked shocked. "And isn't just light everything on fire?"

"No, that's pretty much it, except now, we start running" Naruto said, as the first fire started up, and they all started to sprint towards the tower.

With Anko

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" Anko yelled, watching the forest of death ignite in a giant blaze of fire.

"No idea" A random chuunin said.

Back with team seven

"WHY DID YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA" Sakura yelled, as the fire was right behind them.

"Well, I figured since me and Sasuke are fast enough to out run it, and you train as much as us right? That we all could out run it" Naruto said with a shrug.

"YOU TO TRAIN ALL THE TIME" Sakura yelled, as the fire started to catch up to them.

"Yeah, that's what ninja should do, you know be ready" Sasuke said.

"I'm busy though" Sakura said, getting more annoyed.

"With what?" Naruto and Sasuke both asked.

"Girl stuff."

"I feel like not dying, should be more important" Naruto said, as the fire was only a hundred feet behind them.

"Can't you stop it?" Sakura asked.

"NO, IT'S FIRE" Naruto yelled. "I CAN'T STOP FIRE WHENEVER I WANT."

"But, you do."

"That's different."

"HOW?"

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT AN ENTIRE FOREST THAT'S ON FIRE" Naruto yelled. "SO STOP YELLING, AND START RUNNING FASTER."

Two hours later

"Well, since one of you decided to burn down the entire training ground, we have to find a new place for the third exam" Anko said looking at the survivors of the fire, being not even half of those who went into the exam.

"WHO DID THAT?" Ino yelled, covered in soot.

"Um, I did" Naruto said, as he was quickly on the receiving end of many glares.

"WHY?" Almost everyone there asked.

"It seemed like a good idea, what, eliminate the competition quickly and easily, and light things on fire, I saw no downside to the plan" Naruto said.

"YOU KILLED OVER FORTY PEOPLE" Ino yelled at him.

"So?" Naruto said back, not really caring.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO? FORTY PEOPLE ARE DEAD, WHAT ABOUT THEIR FAMILIES, YOU KILLED THEM" Ino yelled enraged.

"I'm a ninja, I kill people, what did you think ninja did, preach peace and love and happiness, NO WE FUCKING KILL PEOPLE" Naruto yelled. "AND WE WAKE UP KNOWING THAT WE'VE KILLED PEOPLE, AND THAT WE WILL AGAIN, IT'S THE TRUTH OF OUR LIVES."

"You all can do well to remember that" Anko said. "But, we now have to go find a new place for the exams, so, meet back where the forest used to be, and then we'll have the exam."

Two hours later, with Naruto

"Kid you alright?" Kyuubi asked, feeling the disarray in Naruto.

"Peachy" Naruto said, falling onto his bead/

"You killed some people, whatever, everyone dies sooner or later" Kyuubi said trying to comfort him, possibly.

'SO, I KILLED THEM' Naruto yelled. 'I COULD HAVE KILLED MY FRIENDS TOO.'

"Listen, you didn't know that was going to happen, you thought you'd be able to stop it before it got out of hand, you didn't know it would become uncontrollable" Kyuubi said.

'I SHOULD HAVE THOUGH, I SHOULD HAVE TESTED IT FIRST, INSTEAD I ALMOST KILLED EVERYONE' Naruto yelled, thinking about what could have happened.

'WILL YOU QUIT YOUR FUCKING WHINING" Kyuubi roared at the boy. "YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO KILL, I DO, AND I'VE DONE HORRIBLE THINGS, YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE."

Naruto stopped at that, everyone assumed the Kyuubi was a mindless killing machine, he had to, but it must have felt pain and anguish like everything else did.

"I CAN'T HAVE A FAMILY, YOU CAN, YOU GET THE HAPPY ENDING, ALL I GET IS HATE AND ANGER" Kyuubi yelled.

"I'm sorry" Naruto said.

"NO, YOU AREN'T, YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TRY AND KILL YOU, YOU THINK I'M JUST A MONSTER, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE" Kyuubi roared, Naruto could feel the pain in it's words.

Naruto just laid in his bed for a few minutes, thinking.

"Kyuubi, you're my friend alright, friends take care of each other, you aren't a monster, or just some killing machine, you've helped me get to where I am now" Naruto said. "Thanks."

There was silence for a while before Naruto started to fall asleep.

"Thanks to you to kid."


	23. Chapter 23

An: So, HURRICANE, yeah, no power for a week or so, awesomeness, also, I recently checked the poll again, seems like it's a close running for the pairing, is it going to be NarutoxObama, or NarutoxRomney, but nah, seems like the least lazy people want NarutoxHaku, if you don't go vote in the poll, or review a new person for me to add to the poll, otherwise, I'm picking you, three back and four to the right

Disclaimer: I AM A DUCK, AND THUS I AM INCAPABLE OF OWNING ANYTHING

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Orochimaru was many things, a genius, crazy, a ninja, a psycho, but he was not happy.

Why, well it seems when an entire forest is burnt down, his top spy and right hand man, perished it the fire, like he himself almost had.

"Damn Kyuubi brat, now I have to reinvest my time into making a new spy, and to top it off, I didn't even imprint Sasuke with my seal, have you ever had a day like this?" Orochimaru had gotten very angry, and decided to take it out, unfortunately, or fortunately, depends who you are, a spy from the Mist village happened to be there for him to, therapize?

The man stared in fear, for good reason, it's not everyday that a ninja legend tears off a couple of you limbs, and beats you almost to death with them.

"Yeah, I know, how am I going to fix my plan you say, well, I'm simply going to kill the Hokage, and that brat, well I won't, I've got something much worse in store for him now, fuck up my plans, well, nobody fucks up my plans, do you know who I am, I'm motherfucking Orochimaru" Orochimaru said, before cutting the mans head off. "Ain't no bitch going to fuck up my plans and get away with that shit."

With Naruto and his team

"Alright, we found a suitable place for the next exam" Anko said looking at the teams. "Wait, there were four more teams yesterday."

"They dropped out, if there's some not case who light a forest on fire for kicks, most people can't really fight that" Sasuke said.

"Great, so, six teams now" Anko said doing a head count.

"What's the next exam anyways?" Naruto asked.

"Well, the last one was a team vs. team fight, now it's one on one, this way you can't burn down the area and kill most of the competition again" Anko said as she started walking away. "This way to the next exam."

"So, nobody wants to fight me?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"Nobody that's sane wants to fight you, so, half of the people here don't want to" Sasuke said as they followed Anko.

"I was really hoping it'd be a everyman for them self free for all" Naruto said.

"Yeah, because that would be a great idea, what with the way you kind of can just light everything on fire" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Shut up."

Twenty minutes later

"Alright, this is a self repairing training ground, it has a barrier around it that extends for five kilometers in every direction, if you die, get knocked out, or give up, the fight is done, or if I say it's done" Anko said. "First up is Naruto Uzumaki and Shikamaru."

"I give up" Shikamaru said cutting her off.

"What, why?" Ino asked.

"Because Naruto is stronger than me, and can outlast me, not good odds for me" Shikamaru said.

"But, I want to fight someone" Naruto said, disappointed.

"You probably will, since you are not getting a bye into the finals, so round one is Naruto Uzumaki and Rock Lee, everyone else, follow him to the spectators box" Anko said pointing to a chuunin.

"YOSH, IT IS TIME TO SETTLE OUR CONTINUING RECORD OF TIES" Lee yelled with fire in his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever you want man" Naruto said as Anko got between the two of them.

"FIGHT" Anko yelled before jumping away.

Lee opened up launching a kick at Narutos head, Naruto blocked the kick, and the grabbed the leg and threw Lee behind him.

"Lets not waste anytime alright?" Naruto said, as he took off a pair of weights he had on his legs.

"Of course" Lee said, taking off his own weights, and then blurring our of sight.

Naruto jumped backwards as Lee destroyed the ground he was just standing on, he was fast, but Lee was much faster.

"BLAZE KICK" Naruto yelled, throwing a kick at Lee, which shot of a burst of fire.

Lee slapped it away with his hand.

"I thought we weren't going to waste any time" Lee said, as chakra started to erupt from him as he opened the first gate.

"Sorry, going through the motions, you know" Naruto said, as his chakra poured out of him like Lee.

"The fuck are they feeding kids these days" Anko said, watching the two flood the field with chakra.

Lee shot off at Naruto again, this time destroying the ground where he stepped.

Naruto ducked under Lees first punch at threw an uppercut at the older boy, Lee blocked it and threw a viscous punch at Narutos head. Only for Naruto to explode it a cloud of smoke.

"JET" Naruto yelled, as he shot a jet of fire at Lee.

Lee jumped to dodge the attack, and was soon attacked by a bunch of over sized birds made of fire.

"My territory" Naruto said as he launched himself at Lee, kicking the him in the midsection to throw him up higher.

The birds all shot at Lee, and crashed into him looking liked they had just killed him.

"SECOND GATE, OPEN" Lee yelled, as more chakra exploded from him, destroying the exploding birds and keeping him out of harms way.

"Fuck" Naruto said, as Lee shot at him and tackled him into the ground, leaving a crater.

Lee started to punch Naruto to try and knock him out, shaking the ground around them from the force of the hits.

"ERUPTION" Naruto yelled, as the ground below him shot a jet of magma at Lee, knocking him away.

Naruto jumped out of the crater and looked at Lee on the other side of the clearing.

"THIRD GATE OPEN" Lee yelled, as even more chakra exploded from him.

Naruto began to pull on the reserves of Kyuubis chakra he had built up, pulling out a tails worth and combining it with his own.

"FIRE ETERNAL" Naruto yelled, as a giant hurricane of fire sprang up around him, catching Lee unexpected.

Lee managed to not be killed from the attack, and quickly raced at Naruto to attack him.

"SPEAR" Naruto yelled, as he punched at Lee and a pillar of fire shot out of his fist smashing the boy back.

Lee started to jump backwards putting distance between himself and Naruto. He reached down and grabbed a kunai and three shuriken.

"Grapeshot" Naruto said, as he fired a bunch of minature balls of fire at Lee.

Lee began dodging them by moving to the side, and threw one of the shuriken at Naruto, at a speed that made the star disappear to the other genin.

Naruto jumped to the side to dodge the very dangerous weapon, and heard the tree that fell down behind him, along with the eight more after that one.

"FOURTH GATE OPEN" Lee yelled, as his chakra output nearly doubled.

Naruto started to use two and a half tails of the Kyuubis chakra to keep up with Lees chakra level.

Lee pulled his fist back, and Naruto could feel him begin to concentrate a large amount of chakra around the fist, before punching out with it, shooting a dragon made of chakra at Naruto.

Naruto responded by shooting a dragon made of fire back at the charkra beast.

When the two attacks collided, they made an explosion, one that managed to destroy the training ground even more.

Lee suddenly stopped putting out chakra and fell over onto his face unconscious.

"Good, I was worried he'd go and try to use the fifth gate and almost die again" Naruto said as the Kyubbis chakra died off.

"Naruto Uzumaki is the winner" Anko said as a chuunin came and took Lee to the Hospital.

"Next time, can we just all agree to give me the promotion?" Naruto asked.

"No, we have to let you destroy two training grounds first" Anko said, looking at the field, and watching it pitifully try and repair itself.

"Fine, do the hard way" Naruto said going to the spectators area, which was somehow untouched from the fight.

"Next up, Sasuke Uchihia and Choji Akimichi" Anko said.


	24. Chapter 24

An: Now, the thing with the pairing, it's going to two people, max, also, I don't want to make a plot thingy to explain why Naruto and people he'd never see are together, Yugito, maybe, cause she is used in the story currently, but remember this is a story, so it's one part democracy, vote, do it. Also, the one vote for the You, right there, yes you, no not you, third back and two to the right, has one vote, personally, maybe favorite pairing for Naruto is naruxyrtyynnytbatttr, so, vote for it, also, I'd prefer to keep pairings at two people max, and maybe avoid genderbent or yaoi, if it comes down to that I'll have you review what you want more, I really don't care

Disclaimer: Dawg, you better watch yo self, cause if youz be sayin that I dontz own this shit, yo be cra cra up in this shit... cra cra, but right

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"Alright, time to fight" Sasuke said stretching out in the clearing as Choji walked out.

"Now, I don't want to see any foul play or cheating, so keep it in your pants" Anko said. "START"

Sasuke looked up to see instead of Choji, a boulder sized thing rushing at him.

"What the fuck?" Sasuke said, quickly jumping out of the boulders path of destruction.

The two continued like that for awhile, Choji attacking, Sasuke just sort of walking out of the way.

"Is this for real? Are we actually having this fight?" Sasuke asked. "Am I wearing pants? Did I leave the stove on? Am I Sasuke, or am I an imposter wearing Sasukes face, these are the questions you have to ask yourself."

"Naruto, did your stupid wear off onto Sasuke?" Sakura asked listening to Sasuke ramble to himself.

"Maybe, that can happen" Naruto said, watching Sasuke go through the motions of Swan Lake. "Say what you want, that boy has dancing talent like nobody else."

Choji had stopped rolling for a bit to watch Sasuke, who didn't even seem to even notice him as he attacked the boy.

"Are we fighting?" Choji asked.

"Well, yes, the fight has started, and I can't DQ him because this again could be an elaborate strategy, hopefully, it doesn't kill half of you guys like the last one" Anko said, watching Sasuke preform his Ballet, and clapping. "FANTASTICO, MAGNIFICENT."

Choji looked at Anko and Sasuke, sat down and began eating chips while watching Sasuke dance.

An hour later

"Thank you, thank you" Sasuke said bowing as roses were thrown at him by Naruto and Anko. "I'll be here all day for encores."

"This exam may never end" Shikamaru said, laying down in the clearing.

"WHAT WAS THAT" Sasuke yelled storming over to the lazy boy. "ARE YOU SAYING, MY PERFORMANCE WAS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME?"

"Yes" Shikamaru said not looking at the boy.

"WHY, I NEVER" Sasuke said before storming away.

"Are you giving up?" Choji asked.

"No, you are" Sasuke said.

"Why?"

"Give up, or preform the entirety of Beethoven's fourth symphony from memory on the lute" Sasuke said pulling out a lute. "In D flat major."

"Proctor I give up" Choji said, no longer really caring.

"Sasuke wins" Anko said. "Next up is... Fuck it, this has already taken way too long, rock paper scissors matches are how were doing this."

"Wait, you can't just change the exam like that" One of the cloud genin said.

"Bitch, I am the proctor, I say something it's law for you runts" Anko said. "So, you versus lazy boy."

"Can I just give up?" Shikamaru asked.

"NO, EVERYONE GET THE FUCK IN A LINE AND GET READY" Anko yelled at the remaining genin.

"YES MA'AM" They all yelled jumping into a line.

"Better, so you two, rock paper scissors, nooooooooowwwwww" Anko said hissing out the now.

"I win" Shikamaru said, making scissors to beat the girls paper.

"WHAT?" The cloud genin yelled.

"Too bad, maybe next year, NEXT" Anko yelled as Sakura and Ino came up.

Five minutes later.

"We keep tying" Ino whined.

"Fine, you both lose, move, NEXT" Anko said as Gaara and Kiba came up.

"DAMMIT, HOW DID I LOSE, ROCK ALWAYS WINS" Kiba yelled, as his rock was beaten by paper.

"MOVE IT" Anko yelled as Neji and Tenten came up.

"I won't lose" Neji said with a smirk.

"So, why'd you do paper then?" Tenten said holding out scissors and smirking back.

"... Can I have a redo on that?"

"Um, how bout no" Anko said as the two left and Temari and Hinata came up.

"I win?" Temari said, ignoring her paper and Hinata's scissors.

"Um, b-but scissors beats paper" Hinata said.

"I wiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn?" Temari said, trying to scare the girl.

"JUDGE, SHE'S CHEATING" Naruto yelled.

"DISQUALIFIED" Anko yelled, drop kicking the girl, next up was Yugito (Yes, she's there instead of Samui, get over it.) and Kankuro.

"I win" Yugito said walking off after beating Kankuro's rock.

Next up was Shino and Omoi.

"I win" Shino said.

"Okay were finally done, now, I hate all of you, see you in a month for the finals" Anko said walking away.

"So, that went mildly well" Naruto said.

"Yeah, I'd say it did" Sasuke said while nodding.

"BECAUSE OF YOU TWO NONE OF US GOT TO FIGHT" Kiba yelled at the two.

"So? Do I look like I give a fuck, I got to fight, and I won, and some of the more dangerous people are out, sadly though, you lost, so the red head is in still, and he looks scary as fuck" Naruto said.

"You two made another plan without telling me?" Sakura asked, feeling left out again.

"Sort of" Naruto said. "We tried to get you up for our team seven midnight plan sessions, but you wouldn't wake up."

"YOU STILL SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME" Sakura yelled at him.

"Not really, you weren't awake, and we planned stuff, you did nothing to help us, so we didn't have to say anything, so we didn't" Naruto said.

"And now, you have like a year to train up" Sasuke said. "Don't worry, we'll help you."

"Great" Sakura said as team seven walked away.

With Orochimaru

"Motherfucking locked door, why does nobody give me any keys, it's MY secret base, so I should have some keys" Orochimaru said, ripping the door from it's hinges as walking in.

"Kabbbbbbbbutooooooooooo, I'm hungry" Orochimaru said falling onto a couch. "Kabutooooooooooooooo, oh yeah, he died."

Orochimaru laid there thinking, get up and make himself food, or order take out and risk giving away his location.

Ten minutes later

"Hi, I'd like to place a delivery, 87 west Hokage street, four larger extra cheese pizzas, two pineapple pizzas, and one pepperoni one, would I like fries with that, what size fry do you have, hm... I'll get four extra large ones, dipping sauce, spicy mustard, it'll be $143, okay, an hour wait, got it" Orochimaru said, hanging up the phone. "Wait, I don't know the street address of this place... OH GOD THEIR GOING TO MY OLD HOUSE."


	25. Chapter 25

An: So, everything that moves has more votes than a few actual answers, woooooooow, amazing.

Disclaimer: If I owned this, would I be at your house, right behind you, watching you read this?

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Naruto sat by himself in an empty field.

To an outsider, you'd think he's planning on how to train for the next part of the exam.

'Should I get beef ramen, or chicken ramen?' Naruto thought to himself.

But to the careful observer, he really doesn't care.

"Get chicken, you always get beef" Kyuubi said.

"Naruto, you should be training shouldn't you?" Kakashi asked walking in front of the boy.

"How should I train?" Naruto asked.

"Um... No clue, from what I heard, you and Sasuke revolutionized the exam, and certain forms of dance" Kakashi said.

"Yeah, but can't you train me and teach me stuff?" Naruto asked.

"You have affinities that are polar opposites of mine, I can't actually teach you jack" Kakashi said.

"... Worst teacher ever."

"But, I got you someone who can, if you can convince him to train you" Kakshi said getting Naruto to perk up.

"Who is this exactly?" Naruto asked.

"I'm sure you've heard of Jiraya of the Sannin, well, he owes me a few, a many few, more like a few hundred, but anyways, he said if you convince him to, he'll train you" Kakashi said, possibly smirking, no idea though.

"You mean, Jiraya, as in, Jiraya, the Motherfucking guy who taught the previous Hokage, that Jiraya?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The very same" Kakashi said.

"Pass, I heard he's a huge fucking pervert" Naruto said.

"NOT JUST A PERVERT, A SUPER PERVERT" Jiraya yelled, smashing through a boulder and landing in the clearing.

"... Why did you think this was a good idea?" Naruto asked Kakashi.

"I didn't, but hey, who knows, maybe you'll actually win, if you manage to complete your training" Kakashi said before leaving in a poof of smoke.

"Alright kid, DO YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW KICK ASS AND GET BITCHES?" Jiraya yelled, overly loud for no reason.

"Do you have to yell?"

"YES!"

"Fucccccccck" Naruto said, as he was dragged of, by a deranged hermit to go train.

A month later

Orochimaru looked down at the stadium ground, he tried to hide his smirk at seeing the Kyuubi brat there, he had made something special to get back at the boy for what he did.

"Ah Kazekage, wonderful to see you" The Hokage said walking into the Kage box and taking his seat. "Excited to see your children fight in the exam?"

"Well, hopefully none of them destroy the entire place" Orochimaru said.

"Yes we had that happen one year, took forever to fix the place, my students were very, wild with their more destructive attacks" The Hokage said with a laugh.

"Yes, I've heard stories, hopefully we don't have a new group of sannin to destroy the place this year" Orochimaru said.

"Yes well, we've got quite the line up, and it looks like it's starting now" The Hokage said as Anko walked out.

"Now, first match is Shino versus Shikamaru" Anko said.

"I give up, bye" Shikamaru said, quickly running away.

"Dammit, Shino wins by default, first match is really... Hinata versus Naruto" Anko said, throwing a glare at the quickly retreating Shikamaru.

"YEAHHHHHH" Naruto yelled, pulling out a large carp. "I WILL BRING HONOR AND GLORY TO YOU MY PARTNER, MR. CARP."

Anko just looked at the boy blankly.

"Okay, you're clearly ready, you ready?" Anko asked Hinata, who just nodded. "FIGHT."

"FEEL THE POWER OF MY FISH" Naruto yelled, swinging the fish around over his head, as thunderclouds formed over head... And it rained fish.

"FUCKING NARUTO" Anko yelled, getting under an overhang to not get rained on.

Hinata timidly activated her eyes and started to try and dodge the fish attack.

"YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT MY ULTIMATE ATTACK LIKE THAT, MOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEE POOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEER" Naruto yelled, swinging the fish faster increasing the speed of the fish rain.

Hinata quickly became overwhelmed by the attacks coming from the falling fish and tried to deflect them with an attack,

"YOU'RE DEFENSES CAN NOT SAVE YOU" Naruto yelled, jumping into the barrier and smashing it with his carp, breaking the barrier apart easily.

"Father what is that attack?" Hanabi asked her father, watching the ultimate clan defense technique be defeated by a fish.

"I have not the slightest clue" Hiashi said, watching the incredibly one sided fight, and feeling an amount of pity for his daughter, that fish looked like it could easily crush bones.

"I AM THE ALMIGHTY FISH WARRIOR" Naruto yelled as he knocked Hinata out with a hit to the head and posed victoriously.

"... What the actual fuck did I just see?" Anko asked.

"No clue" Shikamaru said with a shrug.

"The winner is Naruto, next match, Yugito versus Tenten" Anko said as the two went to the arena thing.

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Short I know, but I'm a busy person and holy shit it's almost two in the morning


	26. Chapter 26

An: Um, worst story ever, but you love it? Damn, I'm good, and sometimes I have to add a twist to it, not always a big one, but those are usually the best, I don't update on a regular basis due to my lack of time, I write these really late, and now while listening to Sail on loop, and you should rate it over 9000, also, will everybody comment on me spelling the name of a very minor character wrong? EVERYBODY HAS, FUCKING EVERYBODY, CALM THE STORY SHIT OR SOMETHING, THAT HASN'T BEEN DONE NINETY TIMES, it happened like twenty chapters ago, get over one wrong name already... And the guy, who actually only wanted to see Naruto KO Hinata with a fish, don't worry, so have I, so I did it

Disclaimer: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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"Alright you two right here, right now, right here, right now" Anko said, pointing at Yugito and Tenten.

Tenten though long and hard about how to fight, thinking back to all of the nothing she knew about this girl, she decided right off the bat... She's a butch lesbian, so seduction would work.

"Maybe we can talk about this, I mean, we're both girls, you know, and out of the two of us, you're clearly the prettiest, wouldn't want one of those boys to mess up you're pretty face" Tenten said, using her unhoned skills of seduction.

'Of all the people to go against, I have to fight the lesbian, what the hell' Yugito though to herself looking at Tenten.

"Look, I get it, you think I'm hot, and you want to get in my pants, maybe when we're done this exam you can look me up, but right now, we're going to fight" Yugito said.

'So, she might actually not be a lesbian, plan B' Tenten thought as she took out a kunai.

"Okay, finally you two are ready, FIGHT" Anko yelled, as Tenten threw the kunai.

Yugito dodged it, and the next one, and then the next five after it.

And for about ten minutes, Tenten threw kunais, and Yugito just didn't give a fuck and ignored them.

"Can you do ANYTHING?" Yugito yelled, grabbing one of the kunai and knocking the rest away. "OR DO YOU JUST THROW SHIT AT PEOPLE, WHAT THE FUCK, USE A JUSTU."

Tenten thought about it, long and hard, and threw another kunai.

Yugito looked at the girl, and decided that close combat would easily get the job done.

"I can dance?" Tenten said, making Yugito stop her attack for a second.

"What?"

"Well, you asked can I do anything besides throw shit, I can dance" Tenten said nodding her head.

"THAT'S IRRELEVANT" Yugito yelled, rushing the girl to punch her.

Tenten, having trained against Lee so much, was used to hand to hand fighting.

"Ah, fisticuffs" Tenten said, stepping away from the hit and bringing her hands up. "Well, if that's how you want it, fine."

Yugito, to her own surprise had to dodge a very unexpected set of punches and kicks from the long ranged specialist.

'So it was a ploy, she is a brawler' Yugito said, jumping away again.

Tenten watched her foe, who was very quick to be angered it seemed, and made a plan, make the girl as mad as possible.

"So, you prefer it with hands, I'll remember that for later, you know, what ever will make you scream louder" Tenten said with a wink.

Yugito blushed at the words that had just been said, very loudly, in front of her team, and an entire village.

"I'M GOING TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU" Yugito yelled furiously.

"Kinky" Tenten said, jumping away from the girl as she destroyed the place Tenten was just at. "Good thing I like on the rough side, why, Yugito-kun, you're the perfect girl for me."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH."

"Make me" Tenten said, sticking her tongue out at the girl and rolling out of the way of an explosive.

Yugito started to glow with purple chakra and attacked Tenten faster.

'She's faster now' Tenten though. 'Not as fast as Lee, but that could change.'

"I WILL RUIN YOU" Yugito yelled attacking Tenten with more ferocity.

"With strength like this I hope you don't break my bed" Tenten said, having to jump to avoid a fireball.

"Neji, do you think Tenten can win?" Lee asked, watching the incredibly odd fight.

"I have no fucking idea" Neji said, questioning the sexual orientation of his teammate once again.

Yugito, had a chakra tail and ears form around her as she got even angrier.

"Oh, you're a furry, well, I can accommodate you" Tenten said, transforming herself so she hat ears and a tail too.

Anko watched, an angry demon container is never good.

Tenten, suddenly got very scared, maybe from seeing her opponent light on fire, in away similar to Naruto.

"HEY, BITCH THAT'S MY MOVE" Naruto yelled.

Yugito ignored Naruto and began an attack against Tenten, attempting to mercilessly destroy the girl.

Tenten, having seen Naruto fight, had some experience with flaming people.

"Water bullet" Tenten said, blasting a shot of water at Yugito, something she learned for Naruto.

The attack, was incredibly effective, at making Yugito even madder.

"Well, that was my only option, I GIVE UP" Tenten yelled.

"Yugito is the winner" Anko said, as the very angry demon container glared at Tenten and extinguished herself.  
>"Next round Sasuke vs. Gaara"<p>

"JUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDGGGGGGGG EEEEEEE" Sasuke whined. "Gaara isn't here.

"WHAT THE HELL, DID ANYONE SHOW UP HERE TO FIGHT?" Anko yelled.

"I came to lay down some" Naruto started to say.

"SHUT UP, I'M GOING TO THERAPY BECAUSE OF YOU" Anko yelled. "WHOEVER THE HELL IS STILL UP THERE, GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE, AND FIGHT."

"All of us?" Shino asked.

"YES ALL OF YOU" Anko yelled.

Naruto, Sasuke, Shino and Yugito all walked down into the arena.

"Now, it will be a four way free for all, kill each other for all I care" Anko said.

"Can I give up? I can't fight three fire users" Shino said.

"If you want to give up, get the fuck out" Anko said as Shino left. "FIGHT."


	27. Chapter 27

An: Nothing really to say, just you know, there's and update finally

Disclaimer:Whatever

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Sasuke looked at his two opponents, both prominent fire users, so he threw a scroll up into the air, surprising Naruto.

"Water dragon" Sasuke said, as a dragon exploded out of the seal at Naruto.

"You learned a water attack?" Naruto said, slicing through the dragon with his sword.

"Not just one, Bullet" Sasuke, said, shooting a water bullet at Naruto, who blocked it also with the sword.

"They aren't really, dangerous" Naruto said. "Hey, where'd that girl go?"

Only for both of them to have a large fireball explode in between them.

"Here I am" Yugito said kicking Naruto away.

"Bitch" Naruto said, landing and running at her.

"Dumb fox" She said, exploding in a ball of lightning as Natuto got close to her, stunning him.

"Kid, try not to get your ass kicked by this kitty cat would you" Kyuubi said.

"Here kitty kitty" Naruto said, after recovering from the kick. "Come out and play."

"I'm not sure if this is sexual, or if I just put all of it into odd contexts" Sasuke said, watching the two fight.

"What's the matter foxy, can't hit a girl" Yugito said tauntingly.

"You're a girl?" Naruto said, smirking, and kicking her, only to have her explode again. "Fucking cunt, that's my thing."

"Too bad" Yugito said, slamming a kick into Naruto stomach knocking him back.

"THE FLOOR IS LAVA" Naruto said, stomping the ground, and jumping onto the wall, as the ground became lava.

"AGH" Yugito yelled, getting burn on her legs and lower half of her body.

"They're just ignoring me now" Sasuke said, sitting in the tree.

"YOU ASSHOLE" Yugito yelled, grabbing the wall as purple chakra covered her body.

"What, can't handle a little fire?" Naruto said, hopping onto the lava and smirking at her as gold and orange chakra covered him. "Come on, little kitty, lets see if you a pussy cat or not."

"Okay, I'm certain that was sexual" Sasuke said.

"I'll rip you apart" Yugito said as a tail formed behind her and the cloak formed around her.

"Good luck" Naruto said, as the two began to blur out and they clashed at speeds similar to Naruto and Lees fight.

Naruto had the advantage as Yugito had to fight with burn on her legs, and he took full advantage of that.

"What's the matter, is the kitty cat tired already?" Naruto said, sliding under her and knocking her legs out and smashing a kick onto her back slamming her onto the floor.

Yugito growled at him before sweeping her leg out at his to knock him over.

"Bad kitty" Naruto said, stomping on her leg and breaking the bone.

Yugito glared at him as a second tail of chakra began to form on her.

"Bijuu bomb" Yugito said, as a beam of chakra launched Naruto into the wall of the arena.

"Kiddddd, you're getting your ass kicked, win" Kyuubi said.

"Trying" Naruto said, as he hopped out of the hole he made in the wall and began fighting the now two tailed demon container.

Yugito, with the added strength of the second tail had become much harder for Naruto to fight.

"Fine, you want to fight like that" Naruto said, as he jumped away from her to start up a new attack. "Nine headed dragon attack."

Naruto made eight shadow clones, all nine of the Narutos attacked Yugito from different angles just as ferociously as the original had before.

Yugito was able to fend of the nine attacks, until the ground under her erupted launching her in the air. The Narutos jumped after her to continue the attack in the air.

"Vortex" Naruto said, as a fire storm started in the air making a tornado of fire going straight up around Yugito.

"AGHHH" Yugito yelled, as the cloak didn't fully protect her from the heat an burns she received from the attack.

"Give up, I will kill you" Naruto said looking at her on the ground where she had fallen.

"No" Yugito said, only for Naruto to stomp on her chest.

"Give up" Naruto said harsher as he applied more pressure to her with his leg.

"N-no" She said in between gritted teeth.

"GIVE UP" Naruto said, smashing his foot onto her chest even harder.

"THAT'S ENOUGH" Anko yelled coming onto the no longer lava floor. "Yugito is defeated, continue the fight with Sasuke."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, and quickly made seals for a ridiculous attack.

"ONE THOUSAND ANGRY BEAVERS" Sasuke said, as a thousand beavers appeared in the arena, and quickly attacked Naruto.

Everyone in the arena was stunned, Sasuke, the best rookie ninja, had just summoned beavers to fight.

"MY PRETTIES, GET HIM" Sasuke yelled pointing at Naruto as he was quickly swarmed by the small animals, that seemed impervious to his fire.

"SASUKE WHAT THE HELL" Naruto yelled constantly moving to dodge the beavers.

"We agreed no biological warfare, not animal warfare" Sasuke said as the beavers somehow flew through the air to attack Naruto.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS, even I wouldn't fight with beavers" Naruto said, trying to not be swarmed by the small army.

"SURRENDER."

"WHAT, NO."

"SURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDERRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRR" Sasuke yelled as the beavers attacked faster and more violently.

The Hokage looked down.

"I'm sorry, they normally aren't like this" He said with a sigh.

"It's alright, it livens things up" The Raikage said.

Naruto had summoned an army of mongoose to fight back the beavers, how, nobody really understood how.

After moments of fighting the two animals had signed a peace treaty, and their two people lived in peace and harmony for many years to come.

"I'm so proud of you" Sasuke said with tears in his eyes as a beaver was in a suit. "All grown up and going off to start a family of your own."

The crowd was stunned even more by the scene.

"If you two don't start punching each others guts out now, I'm disqualifying both of you" Anko said.

"Fine" Naruto said, as him an Sasuke quickly began to fight.

"ROCK PAPERS SCISSORS SHOOT" They both yelled.

"HAHA, VICTORY IS MINE ONCE AGAIN" Naruto yelled holding his arms in the air.

"GOOD FINE, WHATEVER, JUST GET THE HELL OUT AND NEVER COME BACK" Anko yelled.

"So, are they done?" The Raikage asked looking at the two.

"Yes, I think, yeah, why not" The Hokage said with another sigh. "I'm too old for this shit."

"Hm, so you won, interesting" A masked man said watching from the mountain. "Lets see how you fair against my pet this time."

And with that a very large demon with ten tails appeared in front of the mountain.

"Kid, it's back" Kyuubi said.

"What is" Naruto asked.

"I'LL KILL YOU THIS TIME YOU PIECE OF SHIT" a loud and angry voice yelled across the village.

"Oh, the Juubi" Naruto said, as a giant demon crashed its way into the arena.

'What the hell' Orochimaru thought from his seat. 'That fucking asshole, this in my revenge, and he's fucking ruining it.'

"OPERATION MOTHERFUCKER IS A GO" Orochimaru yelled throwing his robes off and pointing at Naruto. "ATTACK."

"What?" Naruto said confused, as multiple things began trying to kill him.


	28. Chapter 28

An: So, how am I giving it out exactly guy? I didn't update for a few months, so I crammed some stuff into one chapter, and you know, I liked the idea of every villain every right now, but, yeah, I feel like it would stop being interesting and more confusing when Kabuto and Orochimaru meet Karochimaru.

Disclaimer: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, you got the point?

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Naruto looked at the Sannin, a little confused as to why he wanted him dead.

"What'd I do to you?" Naruto asked.

"YOU FUCKING RUINED MY ENTIRE PLAN, IT TOOK MONTHS OF CAREFUL PLANNING AND INFILTRATION TO CONCOCT SUCH A GENIUS PLAN, AND YOU RUINED IT" Orochimaru said glaring at the boy.

"I did?"

"YES, YOU BURNT THE ENTIRE FOREST DOWN, KILLED MY SIDEKICK, SETBACK MY PLAN ANOTHER FIVE MONTHS, AND NOW LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE, How am I supposed to destroy Konoha, IF A FUCKING DEMON DOES IT FIRST?"

"Help the demon destroy it?"

"NO, I WOULD GET NO SATISFACTION FROM THAT, I HAVE TO DO IT ALL BY MYSELF, SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN" Orochimaru said walking closer to Naruto.

"Um, about that... I left my oven on at home, so, I have to go turn it off" Naruto said, without looking away from the sannin.

"Why should I let you?"

"Well, if it starts a fire, it could burn down all of Konoha, leaving you nothing to destroy" Naruto said, reasoning with a madman.

"Well, fine, go turn off your oven, I'll be waiting right here" Orochimaru said sitting down in the middle of a war zone.

'That actually worked?' Naruto thought to himself, before rushing out of the arena to fight the much bigger problem of the Juubi.

"He better at least bring me some goddamn tea for making me wait" Orochimaru mumbled angrily.

With Naruto in the center of Konoha

"MY MOST YOUTHFUL FRIEND" Lee yelled, smashing an enemy ninja through a wall and running over to Naruto.

"Lee, I'm a little busy right now" Naruto said, making hand seals.

"Why?" Lee asked, kicking another ninja in the head.

"You know, giant demon wants to eat me, a crazy purple man wants to mutilate me, the usual" Naruto said, slashing open part of his hand to complete the technique.

"Ohhhh, a summon" Lee said while holding a man in a headlock and continually punching him in the face while watching.

"SUMMON: DRAGON" Naruto yelled, slamming his hand down onto the ground as a large column of smoke appeared as a giant gold dragon appeared out of nowhere.

"Ah, some leg room, finally, I was getting cramped" The dragon said as it stretched its wings and shot a jet of fire into the air.

"So, you wanna help or what?" Naruto asked the Dragon as the Juubi glared at the two.

"Well, I guess I will, just try and find it's summoner would you, If we have to fight it a third time, I may just let it eat you" The dragon said, before flicking Naruto off it's head with its tail.

"ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHO LEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Naruto shouted as he flew into the mountains,

"So, Juubi, round nine hundred and seventeen?" The Dragon said as the Juubi leaped at it.

With Naruto

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Naruto said as he crashed through a tree and landed on top of the fourths head.

"Hm, interesting, a dragon, no wonder you won last time" A voice said as Naruto pulled himself out of his crater.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto asked swaying on his feet.

"Madara Uchiha, and you would be Naruto Uzumaki correct?" The Masked man said looking at Naruto.

"You bet your saggy hundred year old ass I am" Naruto said looking at the man.

"Hm, I haven't gotten the response before, guess there's a first for everything" The man said looking at the battle.

"Wait, lets see, we introduced ourselves, I insulted you, now we're supposed to fight" Naruto said looking at the man.

"Oh, don't worry we will eventually, just not today, we still aren't ready to take you yet, give me a few years and we'll have our fight" The Man said looking at Naruto.

"So, I'm gonna guess you're the one behind the random Juubi attacks" Naruto said.

"You'd be right, but no, they aren't random, they're, let us refer to them as tests" He said going back to watching the battle.

"Tests of?"

"That's the question isn't it, what am I testing" The man said.

"Yeah, that's why I asked you the question, a hundred years and you can't even answer a question, man, old people" Naruto said.

"Give it time, you'll figure it out' The man said. "But to be a little clearer, I was never testing how well you can control the Kyuubis chakra,or the current power level of the Juubi, something much more important."

"So what, you leave and I fight the Juubi, you get your test done, all the while hundreds die for some test" Naruto said glaring at the man. "A test with no meaning."

"Close, a test with no purpose, and no not hundreds, I was hoping for thousands" The man said. "But don't worry, you caught me unprepared this time, I didn't expect the use of a dragon, so I'll have to retreat, but I'll be back to fulfill my test once more."

"When you do, remember, I'm going to be here waiting for you, and when you come, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS" Naruto said pointing at the man.

"We'll see" He said before him and the Juubi disappeared instantly.

"Now time to deal with Orochimaru" Naruto said, only to look at his house, and see that there was actually a fire, he had left his oven on. "Fuccccccccck."

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I had some spare time, so I decided to get this chapter knocked out, answer/ask some question of the reviewers, you know, keep you guys on your toes.

So yeah, redkama, if you ever read this, I'd like you to actually explain the, giving it out like candy thing, cause that makes no sense.

Shodaime guy, did I clear up enough of the whatevers for you? Cause I intend to sort of fuck it up later, rather horribly

I wouldn't say pure crack, there's some, almost nonexistent times when it's not crack, maybe, once or twice


	29. Chapter 29

An: It's not total crack is it?

Disclaimer: Yeah, you know, yeah

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"So, long story short, my oven did start a fire" Naruto said to the sannin waiting for him.

"Fine, but now, I SHALL HAVE MY VENGEANCE" Orochimaru yelled, a coffin came out of the ground next to him. "And the best kind at that."

"Wha?" Naruto asked, looking at the coffin as it slid open, revealing a very shocking sight.

The Fourth Hokage.

"What am I doing here?" Minato said looking around as Orochimaru pushed a seal into his head.

"You know, simple meet and greet, kill your son, that sort of stuff" Orohimaru said with a smirk as Minato came to life fully.

"What?" Minato said, looking at Naruto. "Wait, holy shit, Naruto?"

"No, OF COURSE I AM YOU DIPSHIT, I'M NARUTO UZU-FUCKING-MAKI, FUCK YOU" Naruto yelled.

Every just sort of looked at him.

"If your mother heard you use language like that she'd" Minato started to say.

"My mother? She's well you know, dead, like you, sooo" Naruto said, before popping at a giant flame smashed into Minato. "GO TO HELL."

Orochimaru watched as Minatos new body healed itself instantly. 'Good luck brat.'

"RASENGA" Minato yelled slamming his signature attack into his soon, only for him to explode.

"COMET" Naruto's voice yelled as giant flaming balls shot at Minato.

'What is this attack' Minato thought to himself, flashing away from the attacks.

Naruto watched Minato from one of the stands where he was hiding from and making clones to fight, there was no way he was going to fight the strongest Hokage one on one.

He watched as Minato destroyed the clones using his two signature techniques and just normal hits, effortlessly taking out hundreds of them.

"RASENGA" Naruto had to quickly jump out of the way as his hiding spot was destroyed.

Naruto had to think, he'd never fought someone this powerful, he had to make it up as he went.

'Well, guess now is as good as time as any to use that' Naruto thought to himself, as he was surrounded by an aura of blue chakra.

"STORM" Naruto yelled, as large balls of Chakra shoot at Minato.

"WHAT THE FUCK" Minato yelled, as he was hit with the first one, smashing him across the arena.

"NEVER ENDING STORM" Naruto yelled, shooting an incredibly big shoot at Minato who dodged it, and saw it split into two the chased him.

"What?" Minato said, with every new direction the moved the balls would spilt apart, making even more to chase him.

Naruto watched his new technique be used, it took a huge amount of chakra to start, but after that it maintained itself, it would only stop once it hit it's target, and fully obliterated them.

"Who needs Rasnega when you can do shit like that?" Naruto asked smirking watching the attack.

"Wait, I'm immortal" Minato said, before stopping, and letting the thousand balls smash into him, creating miniature implosions ripping him apart at the atomic level.

"Ha, fuck you" Naruto said, only for a flash of yellow to smash a foot into his face.

"Nope, immortal body, nice try kid" Minato said with a smirk.

Naruto started to form another aura of chakra, and ran at Minato.

The two began a fight at close combat, Minato thought he had the upper hand, but Naruto seemed unnaturally strong, even by chakra enhancing abilities.

'The aura makes him stronger?' Minato thought unsure.

"SPIRALING SWORD" Naruto yelled, as part of it shot out and sliced through Minatos body, ripping it apart.

Orochimaru watched, not really sure what to do. The fourth was supposed to destroy Naruto outright without any resistance from the boy, the fire might have caused a small issue, but not much, so how was it, that the damn brat wouldn't die.

Minato looked at his soon, he was proud of him, of course if this were a real battle, where he couldn't just instantly heal any wound, he doubted that he'd fight the way he currently was.

"Naruto, stop" Kyuubi said feeling the dropping levels of chakra from Naruto.

"No way, I'm going to beat the shit out of my dad" Naruto said to the Kyuubi.

"Stop before you die, if you run out of chakra you can't fight, just use some of mine" Kyuubi said getting ready to send some throught the seal.

"NO, DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME ANY HELP, I want to win this fight, no tricks, no help from you or anyone else, I wanna win as me, Naruto, not with your help this time" Naruto said, as he jumped away from the fight to try and get a breather.

"Sorry, not this time" Minato said, smashing Naruto with a vicious kick that sent him flying, only to be followed up with more constant attacks that seemed to Naruto like they all happened at once.

"NARUTO LET ME HELP" Kyuubi yelled as Naruto was smashed into the arena wall.

"No..." Naruto said as he started to black out. "This is my fight."

"Kill him" Orochimaru said, watching Minato charge up a Rasenga.

Minato looked at his son, he felt his body make the familiar jutsu, the one that he would forever remember killed his son.

"I'm sorry Kushina" Minato said, as the attack hit Naruto.

"NARUTO" Kakashi yelled seeing the attack, and the following explosion.

Orochimaru felt a chill run through his body, this chakra, it wasn't human.

"I think a round two is in order, Fuckage" A demonic voice said as the smoke cleared, to reveal a fox with nine tails.

"The Kyuubi" Orochimaru said, seeing the demon.

"I'm back bitches" Kyuubi said growing in size to take up half of the arena. "Hope you missed me."


	30. Chapter 30

An: So, apparently there is a poll for the pairings, and it isn't being won by the You, right there, yes you, no not you, third back and two to the right, option, which is amazing, since that means literally everything. But currently Haku is winning the poll followed by not Hinata, so, if you don't enjoy that, review something, or you know, use the poll thing I made for it.

Disclaimer: MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Orochimaru looked at the nine-tailed demon, and very quickly decided his best option was to get the fuck out.

"Where do you think you're going" Kyuubi said, grabbing him (yes, he does have hands, go ahead, call me a hypocrite).

"T-think about this, I set you free" Orochimaru said, trying to stay collected in front of the demon.

"No, you almost killed me" Kyuubi said before smashing him onto the ground. "The seal got torn off setting me free, you little shit."

Kakashi looked at the fox, it was only attacking Orochimaru, it even ignored Minato, what was it doing.

"P-please" Orochimaru begged.

"Sorry, but you killed the closest thing I have to a friend" Kyuubi said, before blasting him with a Bijuu bomb.

Minato was looking at Narutos body in the wall, and he couldn't stop crying.

"What kind of father kill their own son" Minato said looking at his hands.

Kakashi looked over at Naruto, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Kakashi, what's wrong" Gai asked coming over, only to hide behind rubble at the sight of the Kyuubi. "Kakashi get down now, we have to prepare to evacuate the city."

"Gai, Naruto's dead" Kakashi said, falling to his knees.

"What, how" Gai asked looking at the arena.

He saw Minato looking at Naruto, and he understood.

"Where did Orochimaru go?"

"He's dead too, the Kyuubi got him" Kakashi said, before standing again. "Come on, I need to go break some heads open."

"Alright, you go, I'll get Narutos body" Gai said as Kakashi left in a rage.

"Gai?" Minato asked looking at the man, who last time he saw him was close to Narutos height.

"The one and only" Gai said pulling Naruto out of the wall and taking him away.

"Where are you going with my son" Minato asked.

"To get him buried" Gai said without looking back.

"He's not dead, he can't be, please tell me he's not" Minato said looking down at his hands and feeling like he should die.

"Yeah, he is."

"Gai, bring him here, now" Kyuubi said looking at the green man Naruto was always so happy to train with.

"Kyuubi, if you can't revive the dead, you can't save him" Gai said.

"No. But I want to see him one last time" Kyuubi said shrinking down to a smaller size.

Gai looked at the fox that was now no bigger than him. He slowly walked over and laid the body down.

"Kid, I don't what happens to you when you die, but at the very least, you deserved this rest more than anyone else, goodbye brat" Kyuubi said before turning around and leaving.

Gai looked at the retreating fox and picked Naruto up and left himself, leaving Minato in the arena alone.

"Naruto, I'm so sorry" Minato said looking at the sky as it began to rain. "I wanted to be a father you could have been proud of, you were a son I was proud of."

In Rain

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FEEL THE KYUUBI BRAT ANYMORE" Madara yelled smashing through the table in front of him.

"I mean he's dead" Pein said. "So now our plans are ruined."

"No, we're going to continue with our current plans, and we're going to handle this problem" Madara said before leaving.

In the Shinigami realm

"Naruto Uzumaki, Son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, step forward please" The Shinigami said to the group of dead in front of him.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked stepping out of the crowd.

"Congrats kid, you get to go to heaven" The Shinigami said.

"No, I don't want to go to heaven" Naruto said looking at the god of death.

"Well, too bad" Shinigami said.

"Please, I need to be alive, I can't be dead" Naruto said begging the god for life.

"No, you're going to heaven."

"Come one, can't I get a deal with the devil or something?"

"Play me on a fiddle of gold and sure you can" The Shinigami said.

"Sure, now, what's a fiddle?" Naruto asked.

"I'm joking kid, I'm not the devil I just say if you got Heaven or Hell."

"Pleasssssssse?" Naruto asked, trying to play on the Shinigamis nice guy side.

"No."

"What if I told you, I can count to a million" Naruto asked.

"No."

"One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen" Naruto started counting.

Two hours later

"One million" Naruto said looking at the annoyed god.

"Kid, for the last time, no" the Shinigami said.

"Hey, I will stalk you if you don't" Naruto said.

"Stalk me?"

"You will never be safe, when you're sleeping I'll be watching you, everyday forever, I will always be watching you, following you" Naruto said staring down the god.

"No."

In Konoha

"Minato, it's, great? Yeah, let's say great that you're back" The third Hokage said looking at him.

"No it's not" Minato said looking out the window at the city. "I killed Naruto."

"I know" The Third said leaning back in his chair with a sigh.

"Now what do we do?" Minato asked.

"We hope that Naruto's in a better place, and we prepare for war" The Third said standing up and walking to the window.

"Do you really think the Sound are that big a threat?" Minato asked.

"Before you were back, I would say yes, but now, it might not be long before they surrender entirely" The Third said.

"Can you end the jutsu that's reviving me somehow?" Minato asked hopefully.

"No, only Orochimaru can, and he's gone, the Kyuubi did what I never could have" The Third said sitting back down. "It's going to be a long few years."


	31. Chapter 31

An: The story is now in fantasy/humor as a few people asked for it, and it really should have been there originally, and yeah, Haku is still dominating the poll for pairing, so, who wants to pick gender? Literally the first person gets the choice, regardless of gender, just don't expect to get any sex scenes.

Disclaimer: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Sasuke looked at the tombstone marked Naruto Uzumaki, he had taken to coming to see before every mission for the past year, he felt it was kind of like paying his respects to his best friend and rival.

"Naruto looks like I'll be heading out on another mission, your dad seems to like throwing me into random dangerous situations, I guess it comes with being a chuunin, or maybe since he just doesn't like me?" Sasuke said looking at the sky, it was clear and bright blue again, it always was like that when he was here.

"Kakashi feels horrible ever since then, he still can't get the sight of you dying out of his eyes, the sharingan sure is an ass like that, he won't go on mission still, he's only helping out at the academy with Iruka now, says it's better for him, the Kyuubi hasn't been seen for this entire year, we all hope it's not taken by Madara, Jiraya is doing his best to find out, but the thing could be anywhere" Sasuke pulled out a kunai and left on the stone. "I still remember back in wave when we did tree walking, you didn't want to fall behind me, and now I'm trying to live up to you."

With Naruto

"Mr. Shinigami's office, how can I help you" Naruto said talking into a phone. "I'm sorry he's not in right now I can take a message."

Somehow Naruto had made the god of death crack, the deal was currently he had to be the Shinigamis secretary for a year, which of course felt like forever in the dead world. Luckily for him, it came with a nice little suit.

"Naruto, come here, now" The Shinigamis voice rang out through the overhead.

"Ugh, and people complain about having the devil as their boss" Naruto said standing up.

"I heard that."

"Dammit."

In the office

"Kid, looks like you're off the hook" Shinigami said looking at Naruto and sliding a file to him.

"So, a years done? I'm free of you and your soul destroying paperwork office stuff?" Naruto asked taking the file.

"Yes, sort of, but yeah" The Shinigami said leaning back in its large chair. "The thing is, if I come across your soul ever again before you die, it's mine for good, got it kid, you only get one freebe."

"Alright, goodbye dead world, hello Konoha" Naruto said turning around.

"Not quite."

"What do you mean" Naruto asked slowly turning around.

"Well, you see, say hi to the Mizukage for me" The Shinigami said before snapping his fingers and watching Naruto disappear.

"I'M KEEPING THE SUIT YOU ASSHOLE" Naruto yelled before being flung towards the ocean.

Naruto looked at the water and rolled over to land on his feet. And then remembered that he was terrible at water walking.

"Dammit" Naruto said before sinking into the ocean.

He looked around and saw the bottom of a boat a little way off. He floated back up to the surface and started to swim to it.

"Fucking Shinigami and his fucking bullshit traveling" Naruto said slowly climbing up the side of the boat onto the deck. "Fuck him and his stupid afterlife shit."

"Well, if it isn't the Konoha brat" Naruto looked up and saw a very familiar large sword pointing at him. "Miss me brat?"

Naruto looked at the Demon of the Mist and gave a little smirk. "You know it asshole."


	32. Chapter 32

An: The current gender pairing is Naruto/femHaku, since yeah, some reviewed fem, and I did say first come first pick the gender.

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, the guy who said its a demon fox made of chakra if it want a hand it will goddamn get a hand, you, you win a comments, forever, congrats

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Naruto looked at his old... Friend? Enemy? Fuck it friend why not.

"So brat, I heard you died, since when do dead people wear such nice suits?" Zabuza said looking Naruto over.

"Well you know, when you work for the higher ups, they give you nice ass suits" Naruto also looking him over, he still looked the same, maybe a little more, well, crazy?

"What, you saying you work for god now brat?" Zabuza said putting his sword on his back and sitting down.

"Kinda, I was the Shinigamis secretary for awhile, he let me off death for the time being for my good work" Naruto said leaning against the side of the boat. "Hey, where's Haku?"

"Haku's back on the mainland, I'm here for a specialist mission, one that requires my finely tuned expertise" Zabuza said with a smirk. "Something I doubt you know about."

"What they need you to tell bad fish jokes?" Naruto asked twirling a kunai around his finger.

"Brat sometimes I question how the hell you didn't cut your own hands off with one of those" Zabuza said. "But no it's an assassination job, you can probably come along if you're still in shape for a fight."

"A fight with who?"

"The Seven Swords Men of the Mist, well, six" Zabuza said. "Maybe five?"

Back in Konoha

"Sasuke, I want you to go a kill this target, from what I understand, you've encountered him on previous missions" Minato said handing Sasuke a mission file.

"Who exactly?" Sasuke said not looking in the folder.

"Zabuza the demon of the mist" Minato said as Sasukes eyes opened wide.

"He's an A-ranked ninja, you think I can beat him?" Sasuke asked.

"I don't care about ranks or capabilities, all I care about is seeing his head on this desk in a month got it?" Minato said sternly.

"Fine" Sasuke said before leaving the office, it was going to be an interesting month.

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And this will probably be the end of my little short dead Naruto arc, expect longer chapters in the future, you may be disappointed though


	33. Chapter 33

An: The current gender pairing is Naruto/femHaku, since yeah, some reviewed fem, and I did say first come first pick the gender. It may come up soon, also, the seal is on his stomach, the actual kyuubi does not live in his stomach... actually, now it does, yeah fuck that shit, kyuubi now lives in his stomach, thank you guy

Disclaimer: WHOPPPPPPP

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Naruto and Zabuza got off the boat and started to down the road to the village.

"So, how was being dead, I mean, is it anything to look forward to?" Zabuza asked.

"You know, boring, I filed paperwork for a year, and now have this suit, and a little bit of new skills" Naruto said looking in the file he had again. "Course this is maybe the worst thing ever."

"What is it anyways?"

"It's, well, a deal, with the god of death, again, this one though, is for someone else" Naruto said reading the files name. "One very special motherfucker, Madara Uchia."

"Ain't he dead?" Zabuza asked picking at his teeth out of boredom.

"Nope, asshole tried to kill me twice" Naruto said putting the file away. "Now, explain to me what we're doing exactly?"

"Well, I'm on a mission to kill as many of the remaining Seven Swordsmen of the mist that I can, with you, this may mean, kill them all" Zabuza said.

"Alright, time for some high level kills" Naruto said, cracking his neck.

With Sasuke

Sasuke looked out across the ocean, he had only seen it on his mission to wave, it still amazed him just seeing the huge thing.

He was alone on this mission, he preferred that, he didn't like the thought of losing anymore teammates, or just the thought of becoming attached to someone who might die again.

"Hey kid, why the gloomy look, is it cause you don't have you scarecrow sensei?" A familiar voice said as Sasuke looked up.

"Tazuna?" Sasuke said a little surprised at seeing the old man again.

"The one and only brat, so if you're here, where's the blond brat eh?" Tazuna asked with a smirk looking across the boat.

"He's... Back home" Sasuke said, trying to avoid the topic of his ex-teammates death.

"Ah, that's a shame, it's always nice to see old friends, especially ones who helped you out from a bind" Tazuna said a little disappointed.

"Yeah" Sasuke said, looking at the water again, and remembering his time in wave, he tried to ignore the way he missed all his friends.

With Kyuubi

A small fox climbed out of its den under a tree and stretched in the sunlight, it looked around for any food, it smelled a mouse not to far off and decided to get some breakfast.

The Kyuubi had done its best to forget everything, his first friend, and having to watch him die, the Kyuubi was just lying low now, being a fox, doing fox things, eating hunting sleeping, he liked the change of pace.

The Kyuubi stopped abruptly and looked off in the distance after sniffing again.

"No... Brat?" Kyuubi said, before growing to the size of a small house and rushing off in that direction.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

In Konoha

"Hey Naruto, I've been keeping you swords in good condition, I figured you'd want that, you liked them a lot, I haven't been out of the village in a year, I've eaten my body weight four times over in ramen by now, I hate this, losing someone else, all because I was too afraid to act, I'm sorry I didn't help, or move faster, I hope you forgive me, I've decided to take another team, they don't seem remarkable, or even talented, but neither did you, and you manage to fight with a kage for a little while, so I'm excited to see what they can do with some work, I hope you're happy, where ever you ended up" Kakashi said as he put his mask back on and turned away from the grave. "Sasuke really misses you, he can't find anyone else to test himself with, you were the best rival for him, simply because you were his best friend, thank you though, for being the student that I needed."

Elsewhere in Konoha

Minato looked out the window, he hated himself, he hated every waking moment of his existence, when he wasn't busy hating himself, he was busy hating everything else. He couldn't stand the people who hated his son, the last real hero in Konoha, they hated him, and worshiped him for the same reason. He understood Sasukes dislike for himself, after all, he hated himself just as much, never dying, never tiring, never even growing hungry anymore.

"Naruto, kill me."

With Madara

Madara had to set his plans back quite a, fuck, a hundred years.

Without the Kyuubi being in a vessel the chance of him being able to catch it and then feed it to the Juubi were so low, it was zero.

"Pein, we're going to have to go to our failsafe" Madara said to Pein. "I want every available body ready, war is on the front, and it's time to pay Konoha it's due service."

"Of course my friend" Pein said, looking across the city of Rain. "EVERYONE, PREPARE FOR WAR."

With Naruto

"Zabuza, I really hope I can get in the Mist village, going back home right now isn't the best idea" Naruto said scratching his head.

"Why's that brat?" Zabuza asked wrapping new bandages around his face.

"Well, I'm buried there, and my dad is alive now, and he killed me" Naruto said. "Oh, yeah, there's also a Nine-tailed demon out on the lose."

"Well... That's some shit ain't it" Zabuza said, scratching his chin.

"So, hopefully the new Mist will let me in, I think with the whole helping win the war I should hopefully have a place" Naruto said.

"Well, first things first, we gotta win."

"I'd wish you luck with that, if I wasn't here to kill you" A voice said from the trees as a mist rolled over the road.

"Friend of yours?" Naruto asked, throwing Zabuza a glance.

"Nah, must be a new kid, sucks for him" Zabuza said before bursting into water.

"AH" A voice cried out before the mist dissolved.

"This is my technique brat" Zabuza said pulling his sword out the Mist ninjas body.

"Let's move faster, I need some practice" Naruto said, flaring his chakra to get ready for a fight.

"Yeah, why not, Mist village get ready for the Amazing Zabuza and his brat sidekick" Zabuza said with a smirk as he started hopping through the trees to the village.

"HEY YOU'RE THE SIDEKICK" Naruto yelled chasing after him.


	34. Chapter 34

An: Now, the story currently has no planned ending, so, let's see how it ends eh?

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, every character would have the spelling of their name changed every chapter

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The Kyuubi looked at the Mist Village, it had been a long trip here, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. If he found Naruto, anything could happen, but if he never saw Naruto again, instead just turned back around and left, nobody knows he's here, it'd be like he'd disappeared forever.

But this gnawing in him told him to find the brat... He'd never forgotten the kid, and he never would.

With Naruto under The Village

"So, you're saying you're Naruto Uzumaki, someone who's been dead for over a year, and is a Konoha ninja?" A Mist ninja asked looking at the tied up Naruto.

"Yes, yes I am, now if you'll let me finish, I'd recommend untying me before I get... Hungry" Naruto said as his stomach growled.

"Sure, let's just let someone who attacked the village, a terrorist go, scot free" The Ninja said, before slamming his hand down on a table. "WE DON'T DO THAT SOFT HEARTED BULLSHIT HERE, HERE WE STRIVE FOR JUSTICE INTEGRITY, I WILL NOT HAVE A CRIMINAL ROAMING THE STREETS OF MY VILLAGE."

Naruto looked at the man, who was very clearly insane, and probably had issues in bed. He kept looking at the man, and the he slowly started whistling, a constant whistle.

"Stop that."

Naruto continued whistling, getting louder as he went on.

"I said stop it."

Naruto kept on whistling his heart out, he was going for a solo.

"I SAID FUCKING STOP THAT" The Ninja said throwing the table at a wall, disrupting Narutos whistling.

Before he started back up again.

The other interrogators looked in, they weren't sure how to handle this guy, he was clearly prepared for the worst they could throw at him.

An hour later

"Now, tell me how it made you feel, when you dog ran away from home" Naruto asked the Ninja who was now on a therapists sofa.

"I don't know, hurt, betrayed, I loved that dog, and he just left me like that" The Ninja said tears falling from his eyes.

"Now, listen, what if it wasn't the dogs fault?"

"But, if it wasn't the dog, what happened?"

"Think, did you father seem to act suspicious around the time of your dogs sudden disappearance?" Naruto asked, taking notes on the mans behavior.

"No, wait, yeah, he seemed nervous, and maybe a little guilty, like he had... Oh god... Did my father kill my dog?"

"I don't know, did he?" Naruto asked, continuing to take notes.

"Oh... Oh my... My father... He killed my dog" The man began to brake down in tears at the striking revelation into his past.

"It's alright, let it all out, don't worry, shh" Naruto said offering what little comfort he could to the crying man.

"He lied to me about it, my entire life, he even bought me a cat to make up for it, I'm allergic to cats, that bastard" The Man said unable to move from his tears.

The other interrogators looked on, in shock and fear of this prisoners frightening ability to crack even the most seasoned minds.

Naruto turned and looked at the 'mirror' and decided it was time to leave.

"This was a good session we made a lot of progress today, but now it's time for me to go" Naruto said, throwing the chair he was in through the mirror and hitting one of the other interrogators and the stabbing the other one with a kunai.

"Brat, is there where you've been this entire time?" Zabuza asked coming the room and wiping some blood of his giant blade.

"They caught me, so I went to jail like I was supposed to" Naruto said with a shrug and followed him out.

Outside

"HEY EVERYBODY, IT'S ME MOTHERFUCKERS" Naruto yelled smashing a mist ninja in the head with a club.

"Brat you're too flashy for my tastes" Zabuza said, cutting down another a ninja.

"WHATEVER, HAHAHA" Naruto yelled going crazy and tearing his way through the mist ninja.

"Well, if it isn't the traitor and some brat" Some other random ninja said.

"HEY, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU RANDOM DOUCHE BAG?" Naruto asked pointing at him.

"I'M" He said, as Zubuza slashed his in half.

"A DUMBASS" Naruto yelled with a laugh and then followed Zabuza on a trail of death through the village.

With Kyuubi

Kyuubi looked at the village, it could feel Naruto there, it could feel some rage flowing out of the brat, and it could feel the bloodshed.

"Brat, what happened" Kyuubi said sadly looking at the growing pile of corpses.


	35. Chapter 35

An: So, and ending has been sort of made through a coalition of me, and four other people, hopefully you all hate it

Disclaimer: MAH I'M ON TV

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Naruto looked around, the village looked a lot worse than it did before they got there, and he doubted the message would soon be forgotten, mess with the rebellion, you will be fucking murdered.

"Brat time to fall back, we gotta get back to base" Zabuza said heading towards the gate.

"Oh but the fun's just starting traitor" A loud voice said as the two stopped. "What, are you scared now?"

The two looked back to see the Mizukage standing there watching them with a twisted grin on his face.

"You come into my village, and think you can leave alive? AFTER ALL THIS" He yelled gesturing to the destruction.

"Um, yeah?" Naruto said, not sure what to do against a kage.

"WRONG ANSWER YOU FUCKING BRAT" The Mizukage yelled getting covered by a demon cloak.

"KID NOW WE FUCKING RUN" Zabuza yelled turning and running away as fast as possible.

Naruto didn't ask why, he decided to instead turn and run the fuck away, a kage was bad enough, but a kage with the power of a demon was actually retarded.

"I'M SORRY, WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE" He yelled, grabbing the two and throwing them back into the village. "I JUST GOT HERE, TRY AND ENTERTAIN ME."

Kyuubi could feel the other demon there, he knew Naruto was there, probably fighting it, he didn't stand a chance the way he currently was.

"Looks like it's time to repay my debt" Kyuubi said, growing to its full size and descending upon the village.

Naruto looked up, thinking he was about to die, but he saw something that gave him hope, a giant ass fox smashing apart a village.

"HEY YOU FUCKING TURTLE, YOUR ASS IS MINE BITCH" Kyuubi yelled, smashing the Mizukage into the ground.

"Kyuubi you big beautiful fox I have never been this glad to see you" Naruto said with a smile, and then a very large amount of pain as he realized a lot of his bones were broken.

"Kid save the flattery for when you aren't dead" Kyuubi said shrinking back down to grab Naruto.

"Brat, where the hell did you meet the demon fox?" Zabuza asked limping over to the two.

"Um... It's been inside me?" Naruto said not sure how to explain it.

"Kid, if you like animals that much, who am I to judge what you can and can't do" Zabuza said.

"NOT LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING PRICK" Naruto yelled at him as the Kyuubi dragged the two off.


	36. Chapter 36

An: So, and ending has been sort of made through a coalition of me, and four other people, hopefully you all hate it

Disclaimer: MAH I'M ON TV

TTTTTTTTTTTTTt

Naruto looked around, the village looked a lot worse than it did before they got there, and he doubted the message would soon be forgotten, mess with the rebellion, you will be fucking murdered.

"Brat time to fall back, we gotta get back to base" Zabuza said heading towards the gate.

"Oh but the fun's just starting traitor" A loud voice said as the two stopped. "What, are you scared now?"

The two looked back to see the Mizukage standing there watching them with a twisted grin on his face.

"You come into my village, and think you can leave alive? AFTER ALL THIS" He yelled gesturing to the destruction.

"Um, yeah?" Naruto said, not sure what to do against a kage.

"WRONG ANSWER YOU FUCKING BRAT" The Mizukage yelled getting covered by a demon cloak.

"KID NOW WE FUCKING RUN" Zabuza yelled turning and running away as fast as possible.

Naruto didn't ask why, he decided to instead turn and run the fuck away, a kage was bad enough, but a kage with the power of a demon was actually retarded.

"I'M SORRY, WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE" He yelled, grabbing the two and throwing them back into the village. "I JUST GOT HERE, TRY AND ENTERTAIN ME."

Kyuubi could feel the other demon there, he knew Naruto was there, probably fighting it, he didn't stand a chance the way he currently was.

"Looks like it's time to repay my debt" Kyuubi said, growing to its full size and descending upon the village.

Naruto looked up, thinking he was about to die, but he saw something that gave him hope, a giant ass fox smashing apart a village.

"HEY YOU FUCKING TURTLE, YOUR ASS IS MINE BITCH" Kyuubi yelled, smashing the Mizukage into the ground.

"Kyuubi you big beautiful fox I have never been this glad to see you" Naruto said with a smile, and then a very large amount of pain as he realized a lot of his bones were broken.

"Kid save the flattery for when you aren't dead" Kyuubi said shrinking back down to grab Naruto.

"Brat, where the hell did you meet the demon fox?" Zabuza asked limping over to the two.

"Um... It's been inside me?" Naruto said not sure how to explain it.

"Kid, if you like animals that much, who am I to judge what you can and can't do" Zabuza said.

"NOT LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING PRICK" Naruto yelled at him as the Kyuubi dragged the two off.

The Kyuubi brought them back to the mainland.

"So, Kyuubi, now what?" Naruto asked looking at the fox.

"Now" Kyuubi said lifting him up on its paw. "You die."

With that Kyuubi ate Naruto whole.


	37. Chapter 37

An: Ha, hahahahahaha someone interpenetrated the last chapter really weirdly, but whatever

Disclaimer: Hahaha nerds

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Naruto looked at the Kyuubi's insides. They were disappointing to say the least, but hey, he probably wasn't any better.

He decided to get comfy and sit back for the ride on the Kyuubi's small intestine, or the liver? He hadn't read up on his fox anatomy recently.

"HEY BIG GUY WHERE TO?" He yelled.

"TO HOME, SORT OF, MAYBE, NOT REALLY" The Kyuubi's voice echoed around it's digestive track.

"OK" Naruto yelled with a shrug.

He spent the next four hours testing the sound quality of said digestive track.

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH LIVIN ON A PRAYER" Naruto sang out.

"I WANNA BE A PRETTY PRINCESS, BITCHES AIN'T SHIT BUT HOES AND TRICK, I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING PRINCESS" He improved a little, you know, for the shits and giggles.

"DAMMIT YOU SHIT SING SOMETHING NOT AWFUL" The Kyuubi yelled.

"NEVER" Naruto yelled.

"THAT'S IT, SOMEONE IS BECOMING PUKE" The Kyuubi yelled as the stomach start to convulse.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Naruto yelled as he became puke, literally.

He glared at the giant fox as he sat up in the puke

"NARUTO?" He looked around and saw his zombie dad?

"Zombie dad?" Naruto said confused.

"YES, NO, WAIT, OK, A LITTLE, FINE" He yelled.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING" Naruto yelled back confused.

"BECAUSE, ZOMBIE SON" Minato yelled gesturing to Naruto.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA, BEYOTCH, I am not a zombie" Naruto said, snapping his fingers in the most Z formation anyone had ever seen.

"Ok Naruto first off, you did not just call me beyotch and Z snap me" Minato said.

"Beyotch" Naruto said snapping away.

The two bickered back and forth, ignoring the large demon fox in the window.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP" The Kyuubi roared shaking the building.

"Geez, asshole much" The two said in unison.

"Now, apparently, Naruto is alive, clearly" The Kyuubi said.

"Obviously why does it matter I was kind of busy you know" Naruto said obnoxiously.

"Ugh, fucking kids, anyways, he's a shithead, take him, bye, never talk to me again, any of you" The Kyuubi said leaving.

"What no hug, geez, way to leave a bro hanging" Naruto called out the window.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF" Was the response he got.

"So..." Minato said looking at his son.

"Ok, let's get this out there now, Hi dad who murdered me in cold blood a few years ago, I'm your son, you know the one you killed" Naruto said.

"Yeah... About that, uh, sorry" Minato said scratching the back of his head.


	38. Chapter 38

An: Wat up, you know wat up, MOTHERFUCKING UPDATE IS WHAT'S UP

Disclaimer: Yo homes, your dick my butt?

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"Sooooo" Minato said breaking the silence.

"So?" Naruto said looking out the window.

"Nice suit, where'd you um get it?" Minato asked trying to find a good topic.

"Oh you know, the God of Death" Naruto said. "You know, when I was dead, cause you killed me."

Minato was stunned into silence by that.

"So to get to the point, I'm alive now, and I'm gonna guilt you really hard into helping me with something" Naruto said breaking the silence again.

"Um, depends, what is it?" Minato asked unsure.

"I want you to help me, take over the Hidden mist Village" Naruto said looking at Minato.

"WHAT?!" Minato yelled surprised.

"Did I fucking stutter?" Naruto said looking at his dad take a few deep breaths.

"Naruto that is crazy" He says looking at you.

"Who killed their son, their own flesh and blood ruthlessly in cold blood here?"

"Look, I get it, I just entered guilt trip central, but I can't just wage war randomly on another village" Minato said.

"Sure you can, you're the Hokage, that is like, your specialty" Naruto said making hand motions.

"Naruto we can't just go to war because you're trying to guilt trip me" Minato said putting his hands up in a slow down their motion.

"Fine, I'd like to request an S-class mission to over throw the Mizukage, requesting Minato Namikaze and Naruto Uzumaki for the mission" Naruto said pulling out some papers labeled Operation Take back the Mist.

"Now that, is something we can do" Minato said stamping the paper and pressing the intercom. "Tell the council I won't be able to make it to the meeting, I've got a very important job to handle."

"Alright, be back by the weekend or they'll throw a hissyfit" The secretary said back.

"Well, what are we waiting around for, we've got a Kage to kill" Minato said throwing off the Hokage robe and hat.

"That's what I wanted to hear" Naruto said smirking.


End file.
